Distractions
by 24vampiregirl
Summary: A series of events taking place during the chapter 'Distractions' of Breaking Dawn on Edward and Bella's honeymoon. Content will be taken from the book, Breaking Dawn Part One movie, my imagination, and of course, your suggestions.
1. Day One

_**This story will be about Edward's distractions on their honeymoon. I will pull dialogue and ideas from both Breaking Dawn and Part One of the movie, so you may recognize aspects of it. I will try to make this in chronological order, although I may switch some scenes around.**_

_**This chapter is based heavily on the movie, and centres on Bella and Edward exploring the forest of Isle Esme. It takes place directly after Bella has eaten the morning after their wedding night. In the movie, I am aware that this scene comes after the waterfall scene, but I would like to do that one a bit later, just because that's how it occurs in my head. Anyway, hope you enjoy it!**_

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><p>"<em>I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again." <em>

"I'm not hurt Edward," I pleaded, desperate to knock him out of this mood, no matter how pointless I knew it would be to try. "Really, I'm not." Edward's face abruptly turned harsh, and I could tell it was taking him a lot of control and effort to prevent his voice coming out in a hiss. Edward grabbed the sleeve of my dress _very_ lightly, rolling it up my arm with a feather light touch until the worst bruises on my arms were revealed. Already they had darkened to a deep purple colour. That would not help my case.

"Then what do you call this, Bella," Edward said, his voice both pained and angered, at himself or me, I didn't know. I kept my face calm. I had had worse than this before. Much worse. And they weren't even that painful. It was easy to forget they were there. The aches in my body were worse, but that happens to everyone on their first time, to the best of my knowledge. Not that I would ever bring that up with Edward. He would find some way to blame himself, no matter what happened to me.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Edward whispered, his voice soft and drenched with remorse. "I truly am, and I don't need to ruin this for you any more than I already have." I opened my mouth to protest, but Edward continued speaking.

"Why don't we go check explore the jungle today? It will be warm outside. This is the type of climate you will approve of." I sighed slightly, but knew there was no point in arguing my case now. After all, this was our honeymoon. It was supposed to be the happiest times of our lives, and here I was, making it worse. Besides, I would have plenty of time alone with Edward for the next few weeks. Though I knew it would take a lot of effort on my part, I had to show him that practice makes perfect.

"Sure," I replied, my face beaming, trying to lighten the mood a little, which was not hard. Edward already looked happier, now that we had moved onto safer topics. I went to find something more jungle-appropriate while Edward packed me some lunch, compensating for how long it would take me to hike through the island. I briefly wondered why he wouldn't just carry me, but my mind came up with the answer before I could even finish the question. Of course, Edward would avoid doing anything he thought might hurt me now, including having my body so close to his.

I stopped dead on my feet as I entered the large white room. It looked just like a chicken coop, with feathers covering every visible part of the room. I let out a brief laugh. The scene was almost comical. But then again, it brought back a whole round of memories. I reach up to my face, brushing my slightly swollen lips with my fingers. In my mind, I could see every touch, every kiss. Keeping my fingers on my face, I remembered Edward's passionate kisses, more forceful than I had ever felt from him. I could feel his hand caressing my arms, my hips, my ribs. A small tear trickled down my cheek. The happiest night of my life, over. Of course, I would have millions more nights with Edward, but not for a few years. And it would never feel the same again.

I had to force the thoughts out of my head. This was Edward's honeymoon too. I needed to make him happy. I had to make him happy, no matter what. My skin flushed from the memories, I made my way through the feathers covering the floor to the open suitcase on the dresser, where I had to pick a few more feathers out of the pile of clothes.

In clear daylight, I could see every article of clothing so much more clearly that last night. Panicking, I scrambled through the pile of what Alice called _clothing_. Amongst the pale and bright pinks, my hands found other colours, including pastels, a lot of shades of blue, and black. There was a lot of skimpy, black lace. With ruffles. My eyes popped out of my head as I held up one dark blue _completely see through_ nightgown, bound to cover nothing more than the essentials, if even that.

Aside from the skimpy satin and lace lingerie, there were other items of clothing, clearly what I was supposed to wear during the day time, though it was of no resemblance to anything Alice had seen me wear in the past. There were about a dozen pairs of tiny, tight little shorts, in various shades of blue, black and white. Even worse, the tank tops looked very small, bound to show more skin than necessary.

Finally I found a top most able to cover up the bruises that were the worst on my arms and shoulders. There was no much I could do about the bruises on my thighs, so I picked out the longest pair of shorts, hoping they would do. I dressed quickly, not looking at myself in the mirror until I was done. I had done a pretty good job at covering up the bruises on my upper arms, shoulders and legs, but the bruises on my forearms were still clearly visible. It felt like they had a neon sign glowing on them, telling Edward not to sleep with me again while I am human.

I pulled my hairbrush through my wet hair, allowing it to fall over my neck and shoulders, covering up any last traces of the purple blotches that could have been there. There was not much I could do about my face. There was a faint shadow across my cheek bone. I tried to think of a time when Edward's grip had been to tight, but I couldn't. I washed my face, bringing its colour closer to my normal shade of alabaster white. My lips were still a little puffy, plumped from the hundreds of kisses we had shared last night, though they were not sore in the slightest. A slight knock on the bathroom door caused me to jump.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward asked, worried. Maybe he thought I was in more pain than I let on, and was just trying to save his feelings. Not that I had any influence over how he felt towards himself at this point.

"I'm Fine," I replied, walking into the bedroom, holding back a chuckle. "I'm all ready to go." Edward had changed into a pair of long, dark khaki pants and a white button down shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his arms. His covering clothing was far from suiting the climate here, though I guess there was no one else around to think anything of it.

Edward dug around in another smaller suitcase for a second, pulling out a pair of casual trainers for himself, and some designer style lace ups for me. While he rummaged around, I noticed there were an awful lot of high heels in there. Exactly what would we be doing which Alice thought required heels? Right now, I didn't want to even think about what inspired Alice to pack these things from me. From the skimpy lingerie, to the scanty bikini's, my cheeks flushed in embarrassment even thinking of why she might think I would want these things.

Edward led me outside, staying close, but never touching me. As we walked along a small trail towards the jungle, I would catch Edward staring at me, or more accurately, staring at the bruises on my arms. In the sunlight, the contrast between my pale skin and the dark bruises was emphasised. Edward walked slightly ahead of me. Close enough to catch me if I fell, but far away enough that there was no contact between our bodies.

At one point on the trail, Edward froze on the spot. I had been so caught up in my own thoughts that I walked right into him, ricocheting off his body like it was a brick wall. Edward's arms instinctively reached out to catch me, then he pulled them away quickly as soon as I was steady, a disgusted look on his face as I winced slightly when he touched the bruises. I could have hit myself in the face for that one. It would only be that much harder to convince him I was fine now.

Edward turned off the path, heading into the jungle. Trust Edward not to follow the path. He held the fallen vines and leaves out the way for me, staying closer to me now than he did on the trail. Every time I caught up to Edward and reached for his body, he was suddenly 10 feet away, holding more vines out of the way.

We were starting to get deeper into the jungle now. I could see the sunlight through the gaps in the trees, but beneath the thick canopy of leaves, it was cooler, yet still very humid. I was beginning to regret not wearing one of the tank tops, as small as they may be. I pushed the sleeves of my top up my arms as far as they could go, and undid the top button of my shirt, checking to make sure I was still decent.

Edward had endless patience as I stumbled through the bracken on the ground, trying not to trip over anything. I had to admit, in the few moments when my eyes were not focused on the ground, I could see the beauty of the jungle. There were not many animals around- they took off whenever Edward got near them- but the bright flowers were stunning, beams of light shooting through onto the floor. As I got distracted by all the birds perched still and high in the trees, I lost my focus.

I felt my body falling, my foot stuck on an uplifted root in the ground. Edward's cool arms suddenly were there, catching me around my waist, his hands feather-light, despite the force of my fall. I held onto his large biceps to steady myself, examining the damage. Thankfully, there was none.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, his eyes scanning over my body, wincing when they saw the now exposed bruises on my upper arms. When he pulled away in horror, I felt a pang of hurt. Here I was, his wife, newlyweds, and he couldn't even stand to look at me. I knew it wasn't anything personal, but the look of horror and disgust which clouded his face when he saw my bruises made me self-conscious.

"Fine," I replied, trying with all my strength to cling onto his arm and keep him from walking away. I took my opportunity. "Just you might want to help me through here so I don't fall again." Edward sighed, standing by my side and signalling for me to go forward. I reached out for his hand, twisting my fingers with his. I could feel Edward start to pull away, and rolled my eyes.

"This is ridiculous, Edward," I complained, wrapping Edward's fingers back around my hand, to which he obliged rather reluctantly. "When have I ever been in danger by holding you hand?" Edward sighed, not looking too convinced, and started to walk forward. I kept up with him, watching my every step.

"Not that I have ever been in danger by having physical contact with you..." I murmured to myself, knowing not to push my luck. Edward pretended he hadn't heard me, leading me towards a small space of light I could see coming up. Edward stayed carefully out of the sun. I wondered if it had become habit, or if he didn't like the effect of the sun on his skin. It was hard to believe that the sun on Edward's skin was anything but magnificently beautiful.

We walked in silence, the only noise coming from my scuffling footsteps and the animals in the jungle. Finally, the jungle opened up into a small meadow, reminding me of our one back home. Although this meadow was a lot brighter, with different flowers and palm trees surrounding it, there was still the same feel of being in a magical place, far from earth.

I wandered into the middle of the small but comfortable space in amazement, watching the sunlight reflect of the bright flowers, sending patterns of violet, red and yellow across the ground. Edward trailed behind me, our hands still linked. I turned around to ask him whereabouts on the island we were, but seeing him stopped me dead in my tracks.

The sunlight reflected off Edward's skin much more than it had in gloomy Forks. Like diamonds, his skin was sparkling, throwing rainbows across my skin and white shirt. I just stared in amazement, my mouth hanging open. It was like I hadn't truly seen him in the sun before. I reached up with my hand, stroking it across his cheek, as if to check that he was still here. Edward's skin was perfectly smooth, even warmed slightly from the sunlight. I ran my fingers along his cheek, brushing over his lips. I couldn't take my eyes away from his as we both gazed at each other, like we could see beyond the surface.

Without thinking, I threw my body at Edward, wrapping my arms firmly around his neck, ignoring the slight tingle when I tried to pull him closer. I crashed my lips against his, my fingers reaching up to twist into his head, trying to keep our lips locked. Edward kissed me back out of instinct, his arms finding their way around my waist, then resting on the small of my back. As our lips moved in synchronization, memories came flooding back to me. It was all too simple for my body to show him the direction we were headed in.

As soon as Edward realised what I was doing, he moved his arms to my shoulders, restraining me as I tried to get closer to him. I looked up at his eyes, filled with passion, horror, and most of all, completely maddening control. I knew I should have apologized but I couldn't bring myself to say the words, because I _wasn't_ sorry.

"I'll get out your lunch," Edward explained, his voice still low and rough, igniting the memories from last night. Edward walked over to a nearby rock which was low off the ground. I took that as my cue to follow. There were a few thick chicken salad sandwiches waiting for me, and I suddenly realised how hungry I was. I ate quickly, not worrying about getting cramps later from eating so fast. Edward sat quietly; satisfied he had managed to distract me.

"What are we doing for the rest of the afternoon?" I asked Edward when I was finished eating all the food he packed for me, although there was more than enough for two people.

"I was thinking we could go for more of a walk through the jungle- there is so much of it you haven't seen yet," Edward replied, gently pulling me to my feet. The sun had really come out now, and I could feel the heat through my clothing. Thanks to my human weaknesses, a small drip of perspiration dripped down my neck. Edward caught the drop, his cool hand brushing across my skin. The coolness was like oxygen to my lungs.

Before Edward took his hand away, I wrapped my fingers around his wrist, bringing his palm to my cheek. I sighed as his cool skin came in contact with my burning skin. Understanding, Edward placed the palm of his other hand gently against my cheek. Slowly, I leaned my head against his chest, feeling more coolness. After years of living in Phoenix, I thought I would be used to the blistering heat.

"We should probably get going if we want to get home before its dark," Edward said after a long moment of silence, his voice loud against the stillness. Unwillingly, I pulled back. Edward held out his hand, which I took with a huge beam. At least he wasn't as afraid to touch me anymore. Hopefully, things would be able to go back to normal soon. In a few days, the bruises would have faded, and maybe then I would have a greater shot at trying to convince Edward that it's all about practice. A small smile crept up my cheek as we travelled through the jungle, my mind drifting to a place where I could remember every detail of last night.

_Soon_, I told myself. Soon, when my body is back to normal, Edward will be able to see how fine I am. Maybe then we will have another chance at our honeymoon night.

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><p><strong>I cannot say enough how much I would love ideas for this story! Whether you take them from the book, movie, or your own imagination, I would love to hear what you would like me to include in the story, even if it's just a line or two. Please review so I know how I am going with this.<strong>


	2. Night One

**_Thanks for all the comments so far! You guys really are my inspiration. I will definitely be doing the waterfall scene, for those who have mentioned it, though I may wait a few chapters for Bella's bruises to fade, as I felt Edward and Bella got quite close in that scene, something which would not happen while Bella is standing there in a bikini, covered head to toe in bruises. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Hopefully in the next few chapters I can show Bella becoming more desperate for Edward to be close to her again._ **

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><p>Edward stared in amazement as I finished off at least two portions of the satay chicken salad he had made me for dinner. After watching me eat for the past few years, I though Edward would have had a closer estimation to my usual portion size. Whether it was his usual overcompensation or he didn't want to risk altering the recipe, I didn't complain as I willingly swallowed the scolding bits of chicken.<p>

"I didn't realise you were so hungry," Edward said, his voice slightly worried. "I should be feeding you more often. You have to tell me when you are hungry, Bella." Edward rinsed off my plate and the rest of the dishes, denying my offer to help. It seemed so strange and backwards. I was the human, the one who ate, yet Edward was cleaning up my mess. Not that Edward seemed to mind.

"Honestly I didn't realise I was hungry at all. It must be all the hiking we have been doing today catching up to me," I responded, my stomach feeling like it was about to explode. Edward didn't look so convinced. It wasn't unlike him to assume I was downplaying how I felt to spare him from hurt or other feelings.

I didn't know whether it was the energy I had spent since arriving, or I was genuinely tired, but my body slumped over the table, my eyelids drooping. Edward noticed this right away, coming to stand next to me. Although it was dark outside, the heat was still as warm as ever.

"Time to go to bed?" Edward asked, not waiting for an answer before gently pulling me to my feet, one hand lightly on the small of my back as he guided me towards the bedroom. We both stopped in the doorway, staring at the mess on the ground. With feathers and sheets thrown all over the room, I doubted there would be a free space for me to lie down.

"Maybe you should sleep in another room tonight," Edward said, his eyes running over the destruction zone. For me, the room brought a familiar blush onto my cheeks as my mind jumped to all the memories of last night. Edward's reaction was the opposite, his eyes hardening, flashing to the only exposed bruises on my body, then back to the bed.

A strange feeling crossed my mind as I saw how he looked at the sight of our first night together. I couldn't place the feeling. It wasn't sad, as such, maybe disappointed. To me, the honeymoon had been perfect, more so than I had ever expected. I couldn't think of a single moment in my life that came close to how I felt last night. For Edward, the night seemed to hold a completely different tone. Although he swore it was the best night of his existence, seeing the way he beat himself up over my very minor _injuries_ made me feel like he would remember the night for a completely different set of reasons.

"Why don't you get changed and I will meet you in the room to our right?" Edward suggested when I didn't respond. I nodded timidly in response, unsure of how my voice would turn out. As Edward disappeared down the hallway, I stumbled into the room, a few feathers sticking to my legs as I blew past. I scrambled around in the suitcase looking for something decent to wear to bed.

"_Alice_," I cursed under my breath as the silk and lace slid right through my fingers. Every item I held up was worse than the last. An opaque, but short nightgown... ruffled lace lingerie sets... a black see through nightgown. My cheeks burnt in complete embarrassment as I pulled out a pale blue nightgown, so see through I could see my hand through both layers of fabric. As if the wasn't bad enough, the neckline looked incredibly low, and the bottom edge had another strip of lace.

I struggled to find something- anything- which would cover up the bruises without leaving me in sheen of sweat from the heat. Giving up, I pulled out a couple of pale pink satin items. The shorts were the longest in there, though they would only reach mid-thigh. The top was significantly worse, but it would have to do. I dressed quickly, and then checked the mirror.

If the bruises weren't bad enough already, they were now giant ink blotches across my skin. Marks of purple and black trailed up my arms, even more defined in their shape. The top covered the bruises across my ribcage and hips, but I couldn't say the same for the exposed marks across my shoulders and arms. After yanking a brush through my hair and meticulously brushing my teeth, I took a deep breath and headed down the hall.

It didn't take me long to find the second bedroom, this one a lot more realistically proportioned, smaller, but still much large than my bedroom in Forks. The whole room was decorated in various shades of blue, with large doors opening up to the beach outside, like the other room. Edward turned as soon as he heard me enter the room.

With a shocked gasp, he turned away again, and I could see his hands clenched into fists at his side. I sighed quietly, remembering the bruises. Though they meant nothing at all to me, Edward reacted as if they were the only part of me visible. Waiting for him to calm down, I padded over to the bed, throwing myself down on the sheets, overwhelmed by tiredness. Once Edward had composed himself, he lay down on the bed beside me out of habit.

I drifted towards his cool body like the opposite ends of magnets, my sweltering body pulled towards his cool one. Edward shifted away from me slightly as I tried to curl my body next to his. I leaned up on my elbow so I could see his face, my eyes accusing.

"Edward, I'm boiling." I told him, ignoring his hesitation when he flinched at our skin contact. Edward hadn't changed out of the thick shirt he had worn today, so I had to press my cheek right up against his skin to get some relief for the burning on my face. After a few minutes, I felt cool arms around my back, though this was nothing more than to keep my body cool enough to sleep. I had to get the ridiculous idea out of my head that Edward would be willing to compromise at all. Still, I had to try. Once was not enough to last me until I was a vampire.

"Edward," I started to plead, trying to put some integrity back into my voice, though I wasn't below begging. "Can we please just try again? Practice makes perfect, remember? Just because things didn't go as smoothly as you hoped the first time doesn't mean we should give up trying." Edward closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, a usual sign when he was agonizing over something.

"Bella, I have told you, we can't," Edward explained, his voice no less pleading then my own. This his tone became firmer, as if convincing himself more than me. "I will not endanger your life again, not while you are still human. We will have plenty of time to do that later, but for now, I can't take any more risks with you."

"It won't be a risk Edward!" I tried reasoning with him again. "Nothing went wrong the first time. It was perfect. The bruises aren't bad at all- I have had a lot worse- and I feel fine. Actually, when I woke up, I felt much better than fine. The only thing preventing me from being happy right now is that you can't see how perfectly normal I am." Edward still kept his eyes close. That was below the belt, and we both knew it. I could see the intense pain on his face as I said that. He knew there was something he could do to make me happy, and he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled as he opened his eyes, the pain clearly visible in his golden irises. It wasn't fair for me to push Edward like this. In the end, all he had agreed to do was try, just try, and we had been able to go all the way. I should take that and be grateful. I should be able to hold onto that memory and have it be enough until I wasn't so humanly fragile. But there was a part of me which told me to fight for what I wanted. It was like a drug, once you have tried it once, you get addicted.

"Don't be sorry," Edward whispered. "You're not the one who almost killed your spouse." I rolled my eyes at the hyperbole. Edward didn't take well to how casually I was taking the situation.

"Look, Bella," he said, holding out my arm for me to see. "This is what I did to you. It's torture living with myself, knowing that _I_ did this to you. _I_, as your husband, couldn't even control myself to keep you safe. Do you think I would be able to live with myself if this ever happened again?" I tried to pull my arm away; the bruises in plain view being detrimental to my argument, but Edward keep his vice-like, yet very gentle grip on my arm.

"Edward. It's nothing. I would take a hundred bruises to experience last night again. All I am asking for is that, as your wife, we get to have more than one honeymoon night." Edward's face looked both disgusted and agonized, wincing as I mentioned the inky blotches over my skin.

"We will, Bella, I promise," Edward murmured into my ear. "Just not while you are still human. When you are indestructible, we can spend every night, and every day like our honeymoon night. Just not while you are human." His words painted a nice picture in my head, though I tried to resist what he was doing, trying to convince me that my argument is void. Suddenly too tired to keep trying to press my point, I tried to drift off to sleep, prepared to press my case further tomorrow.

As I drifted out of consciousness, I felt Edward's arms come back around me, keeping my body close to his, but not close enough that I could feel the pressure of his skin. I managed to wriggle my way closer in his arms, resting my head against his head as I let my mind shut down for the night.

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><p><strong><em>You know I love reviews and ideas, so please comment. The key scenes I hope to be able to recreate are the waterfall scene, the chess scenes, the snorkling and swimming scenes (from the books) and of course, the lingerie scenes from the movie, though they might take a little longer as I have to wait for Edward to become a little less brooding and agonized over Bella's bruises. Any scenes you wish for me to add, please tell me and I would be happy to try and add them in some where!<em>**


	3. Day Two

_**Thanks to all the amazing reviewers so far! I actually came up with the idea for this chapter when I first saw the still from Breaking Dawn where Edward and Bella played chess, so this is different from the movie, but I seem to think it fits in with their situation. I hope you all enjoy it!**_

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><p>I was woken by an abnormally bright light, my whole body feeling too warm as the humid air came in contact with my skin. I rolled over, my hand reaching out, searching for the cool shape which normally lay beside me all night. My fingers came up empty, feeling nothing but the heated sheets. Unwillingly, I opened my eyes, trying to decide if I was still dreaming or not. The bright colors of the island were messing with my head. Sitting up, the sheets awkwardly tangled around my legs, my eyes darted around. Edward was nowhere to be seen, and I couldn't hear any noise in the room, though that meant little. Edward had the useful ability to move around silently.<p>

The fact that my body was warm, but not boiling told me Edward had been here only a few minutes ago. I sighed. He probably left the room as soon as he saw me starting to come back into consciousness, afraid I would try and convince him to stay in bed all day. Edward wasn't wrong though. That was _exactly_ how I wanted to spend my honeymoon.

As I stood up, I smelt the distinctive aroma of bacon coming from down the hallway. I almost scolded myself for what I was thinking previously. Here I had made Edward out to seem like such a schemer, convincing myself he was trying to avoid being close to me. Edward had probably just got up so he could make me breakfast as soon as I woke. I felt silly thinking he would try to go to such measures.

Before heading towards the smell of food, I padded down the hallway for a few human minutes. Realising my hair was a complete mess- no matter how much Edward claimed to like my _haystack look_- I vigorously ran a brush through the snarls of hair. Then I stepped back to look in the large floor length mirror in the corner. Much to my joy, the bruises were a lot less purple than last night, though the worst ones were still standing out on my shoulders and arms. Some of the marks on my legs had started to fade to a more blue-green colour, and the shadow across my cheekbone was almost gone completely.

Deciding that my body was now decent enough for Edward to stand the sight of, I trudged off the kitchen. The soreness from our wedding night had faded, but my legs felt stiff and tense, no doubt from all the walking we had done yesterday. Suddenly, I was ferociously hungry, my stomach growling as I sucked up the pain in my legs and moved faster towards the smell of food. Edward sat a plate of eggs and bacon down in front of my seat, coming to sit opposite me.

"Thanks," I managed to get out before scoffing down the first egg in only a few bites. Edward sat patiently while I ate, and I noticed he had changed already, wearing very covering clothing, much too warm for anyone else to wear on this island. It's not like I had expected Edward to walk around in shorts and a singlet, but in a place where he didn't have to worry about anyone seeing his skin, I thought he would have worn something a little less _Forks_.

"Did you have any plans for us today?" I asked Edward when I was finally finished with the mammoth sized portion. I let my eyes wander over to the library full of DVD's, hoping we could just stay in the house for a few hours. Granted, a few hours wouldn't be long enough to convince him this whole not-until-after-you-are-a-vampire thing is ridiculous, but it gave me time to talk to him without the distraction of the beauty outside.

"I was thinking we could go check out the parrots in the forest," Edward suggested. I thought about the walking involved, and then my legs.

"Actually Edward, my legs are still sore from yesterday, so unless you were planning to carry me all the way..." Edward's face turned into a self-loathing glare as I mentioned the first part.

"Your legs are sore?" Edward said, his voice more accusing than a question. "Why didn't you tell me? I knew I shouldn't have made you walk so far..." Clearly, he blamed myself.

"I'm fine, Edward. It was just a bit more exercise than I was used to. _And not the type of exercise I have come to like,_ I amended in my head. "Why don't we just take it quiet today? We could sit down on the couch with one of the DVD's for a few hours..."

"But there is so much of the island I would like to show you, Bella. Do you really want to waste your time with a DVD." There was no point telling him it wouldn't be a waste. "What about if we go sit on the beach? We could even take a board game if your legs hurt too much to go for a walk." Edward pushed the idea hard, and it seemed like he was trying to keep my out of the house, for a reason both clear to me, and ridiculous.

Edward's words reminded me of Jacob's comment. _"You'd rather spend it how? Playing checkers? Ha Ha._" I'm sure if I hadn't been so angered by Jacob's assumption I couldn't have a real honeymoon I would have laughed. There was no laughing now. It seemed ironic, now. Sure, I had got my real honeymoon, but now we really are about to spend the rest of it playing a game. Still, the beach was almost as good as inside. Edward couldn't really be that distracted by the beach that he would ignore my pleading.

"Sure. Sounds fun," I told him, a plan formulating in my head. A small part of me told my brain that this was wrong. I shouldn't be trying to trick Edward into anything. All he had promised me was one night, and I had got that one night. But knowing how it felt, to have Edward close to me in every way had made me desperate. I simply _had_ to show him how I felt, how much I wanted to be one with him again. How much I needed it.

"Why don't you get dressed into something more...appropriate," Edward suggested, his eyes raking over my skimpy silk pyjama set. "I'll go find a game we can play." I wandered off to the bedroom again, making my way through the feathers and over to the suitcase. Hopefully the cleaning crew would be coming soon. As much of a monstrosity as the bed was, it held a lot of very special memories for me. For both of us.

After scrambling through the dozens of scanty, colourful little bikini's, I chose out the least revealing swimsuit. It was a dark blue colour, like a lot of the items packed, made up of scarily small triangles. Even with the largest bikini on, only a few of the marks on my skin were concealed. There was no way Edward would even think of touching me with the marks screaming out to him what happened last time we slept together. Maybe when they fade, I could pull out some of the scarier items in the suitcase, though I shuddered at the thought of wearing half the stuff Alice had packed for me.

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward called, suddenly outside the room, worried I had been getting dressed for so long.

"Yeah, I'll be out a minute," I called back, though he would have heard me if I had whispered. Quickly, I threw on a black skirt and white singlet top. The top had spaghetti straps, but it would have to do. I gave myself a slight smile of satisfaction as I walked out of the room to meet Edward. His eyes hardened slightly, but he didn't ball up his fists this time. Maybe he was starting to realise I was absolutely fine, and he was over reacting yesterday.

Edward led me down the small stone path onto the beach, only touching me when he thought I was going to trip, which turned out to be a lot. The sand burnt under my feet as soon as I came in contact with it, and I screamed slightly as the burning grains sunk between my toes, jumping back onto the stone path. Edward was at my side in an instant, his arms reaching out, but not coming in contact with my skin.

"What happened? Where are you hurt?" Edward asked, panicked. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm fine, the sand is just a little bit hot," I reassured him. Edward turned his body slightly towards the house.

"I'll go get you a pair of shoes," Edward stated, scolding himself for being so careless. Shoes? On the beach?

"I don't need shoes," I told him, happy with the way this way panning out. "You might just have to carry me across the sand though." The look on Edward's face told me he was going to get my shoes, but still, he leaned forward and scooped me up into his arms, strategically places his hands on the least bruised patches on my skin. I sunk into his chest as we quickly crossed the sand.

When we reached a darker patch of sand under the shade of a large pine tree swaying in the wind, Edward sat me down on the ground, making an extra effort to make sure I was comfortable. I was never the type of child who wished to be treated like a princess, having everyone carry me around, tending to my every need, but with Edward, what I wouldn't give to have my body in his arms again.

Edward sat down opposite me and began to set up a game I recognized as chess. Always the gentleman, Edward placed set up the white pieces on my side of the board. As humorous, yet strange as it was, playing chess on our honeymoon, the mood did seem very relaxed and carefree.

"Don't let me win," I warned Edward as he signalled for me to start. It wasn't unlike him to forfeit the game so I could feel good, despite his competitive nature. In terms of rule of the game, I couldn't get much beyond white moves first. Edward spent most of the time having to explain to me where each piece could move to. I lost all my pawns in the first few minutes of the game before Edward _accidentally_ landed his bishop in front of my queen. For the next ten minutes or so, Edward managed to keep his pieces out of the way of mine, without taking any of my pieces off the board.

After a while, Edward knew I had figured out what he was doing, and took the last of my bishops, then both knights in only a couple of turns. I didn't have so much luck, with almost all of his players still on the board by the time he called checkmate.

"Would you like to play again, or do something different?" Edward asked as we finished the game.

"I'm feeling a little bit tired," I told Edward honestly, despite the long night I had slept. "Maybe we could go back to the house and lie down for a while?" Edward's face was a perfect poker face, no buying a word of what I had said. I didn't exactly keep my desire to recreate our wedding night a secret.

"Don't think I don't know what you are doing, Bella," Edward said firmly. "I know what you are planning, and it's not going to work. No amount of persuasion would cause me to risk your life again."

"_Risking my life?"_ I asked, a poor imitation of his voice. "If something doesn't work out how you planned the first time, you don't just give up. You try again."

"You want me to gamble with your life, Bella? It's not a game." Edward said, his voice pleading, begging me to understand.

"You won't be gambling with my life. It's like chess, Edward. If you keep trying, eventually you will come out with the result you wanted. You don't just give up after one attempt." My voice was pleading too, trying to get him to see _my_ point of view. He needed to see how desperately I wanted him. He may have the strength to wait until I was a vampire, but I certainly don't.

"You gave up just then," Edward pointed out, thinking he had me. For a second I thought he did.

"If you want to relate our night to a game of chess, Bella, then fine," Edward's voice was a little too soft to show the true meaning of his words. "In our _game_, I lost." I opened my mouth to argue with him. How could he have thought he had lost? Granted, my...performance would never match up to his, but to have thought he lost? It hurt me.

"Bella, with you, I can never afford to lose. I lost my control over my strength, and I lost all faith I had in myself to be with you this way before you are changed." Edward's face was so agonized that I had to find some way to comfort him. Slowly, I reached across the board, keeling so I could wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my cheek against his neck. Edward's body remained frozen against mine, like a statue.

"You didn't lose, neither of us did. Maybe it's not so much like a game, but more like learning to ride a bike." I waited for Edward to respond, and continued when he didn't, pulling away so I could see his face.

"We knew this would be tricky, Edward. We might have fallen off the bike, but that doesn't mean we should get back on it again." Edward made a disgusted sound in his throat.

"Your relating what I did to you to falling off a bike? You think you would look like this if you fell off a bike?" Edward waved a hand across my whole body, showing the widespread reminders of our night. "A better analogy of what I did to you would be falling out of a plane." Edward's eyes closed and black fury rolled across his face. I tried to smoothen his features with my clammy fingers, but I might as well have been moulding diamond for all the good it was doing. I waited a long moment, but nothing changed. Edward had all but turned invisible.

"Please Edward," I begged. "This is our only honeymoon. Okay, we may have more in the future, but this will always be our first. I don't want to remember it like this. I don't want to remember you sitting here in pain, beating yourself up over something as small as this." Edward's teeth gritted over the word _small_, but other than that, his features relaxed.

"You're right, Bella," Edward said, and I was glad to hear his voice was relaxed again. "What would you like to do this afternoon?" Just at that moment, my stomach rumbled. Edward laughed, the smile finally reaching his eyes.

"Lunchtime for the human?" He asked, racing me back up the house.

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><p><strong><em>We have a whole two weeks of honeymooning to enjoy, so I need some more ideas for chapters. I might not do all the days skipped over in the book, but I want to get as many activities out there as I can, but I need your suggestions to do so. Please review and tell me what you think!<em>**


	4. Night Two

**_I cannot say how thankful I am to all those who have reviewed, it really it the greatest inspriation I could have. In the book, Stephenie Meyer skimmed over so much of Bella trying to convince Edward to sleep with her again, so I am not really sure how Bella went from thinking her honeymoon is over, to wearing skimpy lingerie and trying to seduce Edward. Hopefully this fills in the gap a little bit. In this chapter, I really wanted Bella to see Edward's point of view a little bit more, but also convince herself that it would be best for Edward's sake if they tried again aswell. It's quite short, but hopefully, it gets the story across._**

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><p>"What for dinner?" I asked as Edward moved around at inhuman pace throughout the kitchen, unique aromas drifting over to where I sat waiting at the table. Of course, I offered to help. After living with Charlie for well over a year, I was used to cooking. Actually, I quite enjoyed it. Still, Edward insisted I just sit down and relax. My stomach growled massively as he brought the food over to my seat, despite the fact I had eaten a very large lunch only a few hours earlier.<p>

"This is amazing," I commented as he waited while I ate. "Seriously, where did you learn to cook like this? Even Food Network isn't this great." Edward smiled.

"I may have read some recipe books too," Edward admitted. "I didn't want to end up poisoning you. After all that you have been through seen we have met, what an ironically human way to go." I ignored the last comment, not wanting to start an argument, though Edward did seem more relaxed than usual.

"There is no chance of poisoning here. Seriously, your cooking is perfect," I told him, chucking another bite of the foreign dish into my mouth. "Everything you do is perfect." I added on the end, my voice sounding slightly jealous. Was there ever going to be days where I can do something better than Edward, or even just as well as him? I highly doubted it.

"Not everything," Edward whispered so low I wasn't sure if he knew I could hear. His eyes flickered to my arms where the dark blotches had faded to a more blue-green colour. I pretended not to notice. Maybe if I waited until we were in the bedroom to convince him to try again, I would have a better chance. Minimal, I know, but it was worth another shot. On something so extraordinarily significant to me, I wasn't going to risk giving up.

Edward left me alone to shower and get changed, waiting in the blue room for me while I carried out my human moments. I raced off into the shower, keeping the water cool. Usually, I wouldn't settle for anything under hot for my showers due to the calming properties of the warm water, but the heat of the island made the cold water feel so much better against my clammy skin. I told my time covering every inch of my body with some of the fancy body wash I found on the shelf. As I reached for my shampoo to wash my hair, I realised I had left it outside.

"Um, Edward," I called, my voice normal pitch, though I knew he could hear. His response came from right outside the bathroom door, though I knew I had left it open.

"What's wrong, Bella? Are you hurt?" Edward asked frantically, always jumping to the worst conclusion.

"No, nothing like that," I reassured him, rolling my eyes a little. "I just left my shampoo in the other room. Would you mind getting it for me? It should just be on top of the suitcase?" Edward didn't reply, so I assumed he had shot off to the other room already. My cheeks turned slightly red as I thought of the items he would come across in the suitcase. My blush darkened as I realised he thought I might actually _like_ the items in there. I didn't hear Edward's return.

"I'll just leave it on the counter for you," Edward told me, awkwardly entering the room, like a boy sneaking into the girls changing rooms. It didn't take me long to notice through the glass shower that he was avoiding looking in my direction.

"Um, thanks," I mumbled as he left the room quickly. Was Edward's refusal to look at me out of politeness, or something else? I remembered his face when he first saw me the night after our honeymoon, the blackest fury there as he took in my naked state. Though I had laughed, Edward looked like he wanted to hang himself at the mere sight of me.

I quickly shampooed and conditioned my hair, working the expensive products through my hair from root to tip, leaving no surface bare. As much as I hated the thought about how much the products would cost, I had to admit they left my hair so silky and smooth, more so than I ever imagined it could have been. After a few minutes, I climbed out of the shower, wrapping another large white fluffy towel around my body and stumbling out into the bedroom.

Shoving the scary, lacy pieces to one side of the suitcase, I found some less frightening, but still revealing lingerie sets which I could sleep in. Pushing a black lace lingerie set out of the side, I tried to imagine myself wearing the monstrosity. It was embarrassing even to think about. I didn't know how to be seductive in the least. My one attempt last month left Edward completely confused at what I was going for, so I knew I would have to be a lot more obvious. Still, looking at the black lace, I shuddered. Revealing _that_ much skin would be the opposite of helpful. I briefly wondered how Edward would react if I strut in the room wearing such lingerie. French lingerie, with sheer see through lace.

I managed to come across an ivory lingerie set, the top long enough so it would cover the yellowing marks on my ribcage and hips. The shorts were not as helpful, reaching no longer than normal underwear would. At least the bruises on my legs were getting a lot better, to me only looking greeny-yellow. The set turned out to be a lot more revealing than I thought it would be. How would Edward react? Every other time when I had managed to awkwardly ask him if he was attracted to me in _that_ way, he would say being a vampire made him no less of a man. I needed him to see how much I wanted him, but it wouldn't hurt to see how much he wanted me back. It was difficult to comprehend that someone as perfect and magnificent as him would be attracted to someone as plainly human as me. There was only one way to find out.

Edward turned his head at the sound of my approach. So quickly I didn't know whether I was just imagining it, his eyes raked over my nightwear. I scowled a little as his expression reacted the same way as if I had just walked into the room wearing my old holey sweat pants and t-shirt. Edward waited on the bed for me, his arms held out to embrace me, though it was something out of necessity than desire, at least from my point of view. I willingly curled into his arms, getting my body as close to his as I could without him pushing me away. Even with the window open and Edward's cool body next to mine, the heat was sweltering.

"Edward," I said, my voice a little shaky. "Um, would you mind taking this off?" I touched his collar lightly with my fingers. Although my reasoning was to cool my body down, I liked the idea of Edward having as little clothing on as possible. I would have no objection if he wanted to lie here naked. I would actually prefer it. When he didn't reply, I took the initiative, reaching for his buttons myself. Edward's hands were firmly around mind before I could even undo the first button.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," Edward said, his hands still restraining me.

"_Please_," I begged. "I'm not going to try anything; I just don't want to end up dying of heat exhaustion." I ignored the tiny white lie. I was going to try _everything_ to convince him of how right it is for us to be with each other in every way. Edward sighed, but still unbuttoned and removed his shirt in one swift movement. Like it was my first time seeing him, I raked my eyes greedily over the flat planes of his chest, reaching out to run my fingers over his abdominal muscles. His skin tensed and froze under my touch. I lay my cheek against his bare chest and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding our bodies close together. Edward hugged me back, a little reluctantly, his hands like feathers against my skin.

Taking a chance, I pressed my lips against Edward's. It wasn't just a peck on the lips. I threw myself at him with as much force as I could gather, though his body remained completely still. Like the first time, my fingers twisted into his hair, tugging his face closer to mine. This was no closer than we had been before the honeymoon, so I wasn't trying anything other than what we did before, to be accurate. While I expected Edward to pull away and mutter something about how my life was not worth the risk of kissing, he didn't.

Edward kissed me back with just as much passion as I had shown him. His fingers twined into my hair, keeping our faces locked together. Our lips moved together, as if having a conversation. I managed to remove my hands from his hair, trailing them down his chest, then his stomach. As soon as I reached his belly button, Edward's hands caught mine, though I couldn't remember them ever leaving my hair.

"I can't, Bella, I can't," he mumbled between kisses, his voice somehow convincing me deep down, he wouldn't be too upset if he didn't stop this.

"You can," I managed to pant back, breathless, trying to keep my lips with his. Edward pulled our bodies away enough so we could both catch our breaths. Of course, Edward caught his breath a lot quicker than I did.

"I can't, Bella," he said in an agonized voice, his eyes matching his tone. In them I could see the pain and the longing which was reflected in my own eyes.

"You won't hurt me," I tried telling him again, trying to release my hands from his, with no success.

"I can't know that for sure, Bella. I won't take that risk with you. I can't." Edward said, his still rough voice struggling to stand firm. I took my opportunity to kiss him again, but he pulled back within seconds.

"It's not a risk. If you really want me in this way..." Edward's expression looked like I had just slapped him in the face. That was well below the belt. I had never sunk so low in my life. I instantly regretted saying the words, but I couldn't make myself apologize. On his face, I saw conflict, and that was all I needed to make him see there was another option rather than waiting until I was a vampire. Edward instantly pulled me into his arms, burying his face in my hair, his arms tighter around me than they had been these past few days, though I wasn't complaining.

"Bella, you have no idea how much I want you," Edward said, his voice so pained I would have imagined tears streaking down his cheeks, if it were possible. "You truly have no idea how hard it is to do the right thing with your perfect body in my arms." I was pretty sure we had different definitions of _'the right thing.' _I wanted to tell him he should just stop resisting and put both of us out of the pain we have for wanting each other. I wanted to tell him how much I wanted him back, how absolutely perfect it would make me feel. But I couldn't. Hearing the pain in his voice, seeing the complete agony in his eyes as he begged me to see his viewpoint. To turn around and tell him we needed to do this would be like kicking a puppy while it was down.

So I would wait. I wasn't the master of patience, but surly I would be able to wait a few more hours, maybe a day or two for Edward to realise he didn't have to be in pain anymore. For him to realise that _the right thing_ to do would be to try again. For now, I tried to drift off into his arms, dreaming of a time when we could be together completely, with no restrictions. So I went to sleep with a smile on my face, back in Edward's arms, imagining that this current mood of pain would disappear very soon, and we would have another shot at our perfect honeymoon.

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><p><strong><em>Again, thanks so much to all the reviewers and suggestion! You are so amazing! I will attempt the waterfall scene either next chapter, or within the next few chapters, though I feel all the pressure and nervousness Kristen Stewart would have felt in having to convey the wedding and honeymoon scenes in the film. Please keep the suggestions and reviews coming!<em>**


	5. Day Three

**_I'll warn you now that this is not the waterfall scene, but it is coming soon. I wanted to get Bella a little less bruised and Edward a little more relaxed before I write that scene. This day may be in two parts, so you might have to wait through another chapter before I get to the 'night' part. Hopefully you can enjoy this one. I wanted to show Edward letting Bella get more intimate in this scene, to show how hard it is for both of them to have such little contact. Anyway, enjoy!_**

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><p>Again, I was woken by the bright lights of the island. The colours here seemed so surreal. It wasn't just the typical yellow of the sun that woke me, but other colours too. The bleached sand outside reflected the morning light, and the bright blue of the ocean streamed in through the windows. Of course, none of that really mattered the minute I realised I was still in Edward's arms. As soon as he knew I was awake, he would pull away, not wanting to start another argument over proper honeymoon behaviour for man and wife. So I clamped my eyes closed, savouring the moment.<p>

As he had on that first morning, Edward trailed his fingers along my spine, only this time, there was the ivory silk of my camisole in the way. I let out a soft sigh. He knew I was awake. It would only be a matter of time before Edward would gracefully climb out of bed and head off to the kitchen, separating our bodies. I clung closer to him, well, as close as he would allow. I knew that if I pushed him too far, he would jump ten feet away from me, giving me another lecture on how dangerous it would be for us to be together completely again.

"Good morning," Edward whispered, his voice cutting through the silence, despite being perfectly smooth and soft. I felt something cool press against my hair, then my temple. Taking a chance, I lifted my face off his chest so I would press my lips to his. As I moved, my stomach grumbled, loud enough that I could hear, so it was certainly loud enough for Edward. Taking the excuse he needed, Edward gently rolled my body off him, laying me carefully on the bed. And like that, he was gone. I heard some clambering around in the kitchen, so I knew he would have been preparing me something to eat.

I debated going to get dressed, but decided against it. I ended up needing to change anyway, with Edward constantly changing the activities we were doing. That reminded me, and I wondered what we would be doing today. Maybe going to see the parrots? Or exploring the waters of the island? Whatever it was, the activity was bound to use up all my energy so I wouldn't be able to nag Edward about the sex thing, or so he thought. His plan was as obvious as it was unsuccessful. I was sure that no matter how tried Edward could make me, I would keep on at him with this.

So I pattered down the hallway still wearing what I had slept in. As I walked past the long mirror along the hall, I took a peek glance. My hair was a complete mess, sticking out at all ends. Maybe it was the humidity, or the heat which was causing it to go crazy. I tried running my fingers through it frantically, trying to tame the monster, but in the end gave up, deciding I would shower before we went out this morning.

While the island was detrimental to my hair, it seemed it was affecting my skin very nicely. With the previously dark shadow gone completely from my face, and all the swelling in my lips gone, I looked normal. Even then, my skin has a slight go. I put that down to the expensive products Alice had packed for me, creating a skin regime so long it was a wonder we got out of the house as early as we did.

Edward had breakfast on the table as soon as I had sat down; a French omelette filled with cheese, salads and bacon. I scoffed it down, barely managing to mumble out a _thank you_. After all the physical activity we had been up to lately, my stomach seemed to need a lot more food to keep up. Not that Edward minded; he was always making portions large enough to feed a small family. Nevertheless, I ate all the food he prepared for me, having to assure him that he was feeding me enough.

"Are you sure you don't want something different for breakfast?" Edward asked once I was finished, slumping over my plate. "I could make pancakes, or French toast. I wouldn't want all those hours watching _Food Network_ to go to waste." He flashed a crooked grin at me. The other options sounded amazing, but my body seemed addicted to eggs now. Maybe it was the additional protein.

"Eggs are good," I replied, standing up to take my plate into the kitchen. Of course, Edward beat me to it, having all the dishes cleaned and in the cupboard in seconds.

"What do you have _planned_ today?" I asked, twisting my voice around the word _planned_. Edward acted as if he didn't notice, or he wasn't ashamed. I wasn't oblivious to the fact that Edward was wearing me out throughout the day, hoping I would fall asleep before I could get my sex argument across.

"I was thinking we could go snorkelling this morning... and then we could go visit the parrots this afternoon." Though it was phrased like a question, it was clear Edward had every intention of going along with his plan. _Anything to wear Bella out_. Maybe if I followed along with what he wanted to do for a bit, he would start to relax, and I would have an easier time convincing him to give a real honeymoon another chance. It was a long shot, but I was open to try anything.

"Sure," I replied casually. "Snorkelling. Fun." I had to admit, I was curious. I had never really been snorkelling before. My experience in the ocean was limited to swimming around on the beach when I was younger. Of course, mom didn't let me go any deeper than waist-deep.

"Why don't you go get changed into a bathing suit and I will get the- well, your- snorkelling gear," Edward said with a wink. He wouldn't need any of the unflattering equipment that I would have to use. Edward's ability to stay under water indefinitely without oxygen was something I longed for, though not to go snorkelling. I had other activities in mind...

It seemed silly to shower, especially because I would be in the water soon, but I needed to tame the tangles of my hair. Plus it wouldn't hurt to wash my body again. Even with Edward's body close at night, it was very hot and humid. I showered quickly, aggressively combing the knots out of my hair. When I was finished, I went to go explore the horror scene which was searching for an appropriate bathing suit amongst Alice's collection.

As I had expected, there was not a single one-piece bathing suit. I had heard all the stories of embarrassment bikinis brought, from diving into the water, realising you have lost your bottoms, or being hit by a huge wave that throws the tiny triangles of the top out of place. Not that I should be concerned; Edward had already seen me in a lot less than a bikini before. I chose a colourful two-piece bathing suitcase, filled with strange patterns in bright shades of pink, green, blue and yellow. I hoped that the colours would be even the slightest distraction from the colours on the rest of my body.

I held my breath as I looked in the mirror to examine how terrible I looked today. I let that breath out as a sigh of relief as I saw my reflection. The bruises along my torso and legs had gone a very pale yellow colour, already fading. The worst bruises, the ones along my shoulders and arms, had turned a distinctive yellow-green colour. They still stood out, but anything was better than blackish-purple. Unfortunately, Edward would see any mark on my skin as shocking.

I managed to find another unfamiliar cotton dress, the one blue. There was almost as much blue as pink in the suitcase. I remembered Alice saying that blue was Edward's favourite colour on me. Maybe I could use that to my advantage. There wasn't much of the dress, but it did cover my shoulders. I went to search for Edward, wandering through the house until I saw him on the deck, a pile of snorkelling equipment in his hands.

Edward had got changed too. He was wearing the type of fashionable board shorts you see on posters in the mall, only Edward looked far more like a model than any of those humans had. I frowned a bit as I saw he was wearing a top. At least this one was more appropriate for the climate, a pale grey tight fitting tee-shirt. I had been so used to seeing Edward wearing button down shirts and long pants that the casualness of his outfit threw me for a minute.

"It's a bit of a walk to get to best part of the island for snorkelling," Edward warned me, pulling me from my imagination. I frowned a little, and Edward laughed, totally carefree. I guessed there was no point ruining to mood by suggestion we should just stay here all day, maybe watch a movie, or do other things...

"If your legs are still sore, I can carry you," Edward suggested with a smile, reaching his arms out to me, the snorkelling gear assembled in a small bag on his back. I stepped into his embrace willingly, curling into his body as he cradled me in his arms. Travelling this way, we reached the destination Edward was talking about in no time. Even without being underwater, I could see all the colourful fish swimming around, seeing species I hadn't even heard of before.

Edward walked over to a small little row boat I hadn't even noticed, placing me on the sandy beach next to it. As if it were no effort as all, he managed to lift the small boat into the water, holding it steady and helping me climb in. I looked around curiously as we moved around in the water. As Edward rowed, I could see the strong muscles of his arms rippling, a site much more interesting than my surroundings. In a few minutes, I could see the coral reefs through the crystal clear water beneath us.

This area was more shaded than the other parts of the island, with the large palm trees above stopping the sun glaring off the water and into my eyes. Once the boat had stopped, I reached down into the ocean. The water was still warm, though colder than other parts of the ocean. It felt like bath water to me. Edward was right; this _was_ the type of beach I approved of. Fishing around in the bag for a few seconds, Edward pulled out a snorkelling mask and breathing tube, both a bright yellow colour. As if I didn't stand out enough already.

I grimaced as he pulled out the next item, a full length wetsuit, the type you see when people go scuba diving on TV. I rolled my eyes a bit, wondering if he really though I was _that_ weak that I couldn't stand the only slightly decreased temperature of the water.

"I don't want you getting stung by anything," Edward explained as he saw my look of disgust towards the thick fabric. I was pretty sure if Edward caught signs of anything trying to sting me, he would swoop in and keep me safe. Not that I was afraid of a tiny sting. After a life of tripping over everything, and not to mention the bad luck, a little pain was nothing. Edward held the wetsuit out to me. Sighing, I undressed. Edward kept his head turned while I changed, like I was stripping completely in front of him. Even if I did, it would be nothing he hadn't seen before.

When I finally had the wetsuit on, after taking a lot of effort to pull the tight fabric in place, I turned back to Edward, and lost what I was going to say. While I was getting changed, he had removed his shirt. Even under shelter, the sun managed to refract of Edward's skin. His whole body sparkled, sending rainbows of colour across the water. I didn't even snap back to coherency when Edward helped me put the mask and breathing tube on.

One second he was standing in front of me, the next he was gone. I searched the water quickly, and he wasn't hard to find. Like when he was running, his figure turned into a ghost, impossibly fast. He darted around under the water, flaunting his ability to go without oxygen. Eventually, he came back up to the surface, right in front of the boat where I stood, dumbstruck. I took that as my signal to climb out of the boat. Of course, being me, it wasn't that simple. Every time I went to step onto the edge of the boat, it would rock violently, and I would struggle to keep my balance. Edward tried to keep a straight face, but I could see laughter in his eyes.

After several failed attempts to get out, Edward pulled me off, catching me as soon as I hit the water. I clung onto him for a few moments, collecting myself. Edward seemed willing to hold onto me, hovering above the ground a few metres below with my body in his arms. As much as I wanted to press my lips to his, the breathing tube was an inconvenience keeping us apart. Once Edward was confident I would be able to keep myself afloat, he released me, darting around the water.

Once I was submerged, I saw all the colourful fish underneath. They darted around the water, swimming in between the brightly lit coral reefs, schools of fish coming close to me. Whenever I reached out to see if they were really there, the fish would dart away again. Every now and then, Edward would shoot through the water. When he did, the fishes took off, hiding as if a shark was near. The fish seemed to have a more sensible reaction to the presence of a vampire than humans did, or at least than I did.

I hadn't realised how long we were there until Edward suddenly had me in his arms, our faces above the surface. He kept me tightly in his arms, the temperature of his skin warmed by the water.

"How was that?" Edward asked, carefully lifting me into the boat before climbing in himself.

"It was amazing, Edward," I replied honestly, a bit out of breath. "I'm so glad you brought me here. The fish...the colours..." I trailed off in wonder. Edward smiled widely at my happiness, grateful I had found something enjoyable that didn't _risk my life_, as he had put it. As Edward rowed the boat back to the shore, I lay back, closing the eyes and feeling the sunlight on my face. It had to be at least midday by now, the sun high in the sky.

I was brought back to reality when Edward wrapped a thick towel around me and scooped my body up in his arms, not saying anything. Maybe he thought I was going to sleep, or just too worn out. And he would have been right; my body felt very fatigued, although I had slept for a good ten hours last night. I knew we were back at the house when I felt Edward sit me down on one of the deckchairs outside.

"Sorry," Edward said as I opened my eyes when his arms left my body. I stretched out a little bit. Swimming left me less sore than hiking, at least. Now that I was out of the water, the sun was a lot hotter, my wetsuit already dry although I had only been in the sun for a few minutes. I stood to try and get the tight fabric off my skin, and failed miserably. Edward came over to help me, smiling, probably at how ridiculous I looked having a battle with the piece of material. He had the suit off my body within seconds, gently removing the fabric from my skin.

I didn't know what I expected Edward's reaction to be. Maybe self-loathing as more of my bare skin was revealed; maybe he wouldn't have even looked at me, too full of hatred for giving me a reminder of our wedding night. But I certainly wasn't expecting what actually happened. Edward took in my near naked state as I stood in front of him, wearing Alice's idea of appropriate swimwear. His eyes hardened slightly when they saw the marks still fading from my arms and shoulders, but other than that, his expression was what I could only call appreciation. Maybe this is what it took to get Edward to look past his rule.

I took my opportunity, stepping towards him and wrapping my arms around his still bare torso. He tensed for a second, but then his posture relaxed. I felt Edward's arms around my waist, holding our bodies close to each other. Although we were not completely naked, I could feel the skin of upper body against my stomach, my arms, my shoulders. A flood of memories came surging back to me, and a desire as strong as the one I had for oxygen forced me to recreate those memories. It wasn't a choice, it was a need. A raw, intense need.

I reached up onto my toes, smashing my lips to Edward's. He was a bit taken back by my sudden passion, but otherwise responded the way he usually would have. I all but attacked him, my fingers shooting from his back to his hair as our lips touched. Edward's arms held me closer until our bodies were pressed firmly against each other. The moment felt so _right_.

I parted my lips slightly, a deep satisfactions surfacing inside me when Edward mirrored my action. One of his arms left where is sat on my waist to explore my face, cupping my cheek. I tried to pull my body closer to him, using all my strength to keep our faces together. Eventually, I had to break away for oxygen, my breath coming out as pants, Edward's no more controlled than mine. His lips shifted to my throat, laying a trail of burning kisses there while we waited for my breathing to slow down.

"We can't, Bella," he said when I tried to pull him back to me. Again, he was maddeningly in control of himself. Though his lips still continued to explore the exposed surfaces of my chest, he was completely in control. Still, I wouldn't give up. I would never give up.

"Yes we can," I pleaded, failing to bring his lips back to mine. Edward kept a firm grip about my waist which was both keeping me close to him, and restraining if need be.

"Not while you are human. I'm sorry, Bella. You know I want this too, but not while you are still human," Edward said against the skin of my throat. _Then change me now_, I wanted to say-no, scream- at him. But I couldn't get the words out. I had seen the rest of the Cullen's. None of them were unable to stop after just a kiss. I didn't want to lose this feeling so soon, before I could even appreciate it completely.

Sure, after a few years of being an uncontrollable newborn, Edward and I could be intimate as much as we wanted. But nothing would ever compare to how I felt now; human, completely ruled with desire for her husband. Even as a mature vampire, blood would always be on my mind. But there was nothing on my mind now other than being intimate with Edward. It was all I could think of. Edward took my distraction as his chance to manoeuvre out of my grip and distance his body from mine.

"You must be hungry," Edward said, trying to switch topics. "How about I make you some lunch, and you can go get changed," he suggested, already moving towards the kitchen. I sighed. I had come so close, at least in my opinion, to getting him to bend the rules a bit. There was a surge of disappointment in me, but below that, I could feel it. While Edward had pulled away, he certainly took his time to come to the conclusion that things couldn't go any further. All I needed was to keep him going for a bit longer. Soon he would see that there is no danger, and maybe them he will get rid of his ridiculous plan to wait until I was changed.

My mind subconsciously went back to the image of some of the skimpy lingerie-ish lingerie Alice had packed for me. Maybe if I wore some of the scarier pieces, it would help my case. The bruises were leaving, some even gone. I had a mental image of strutting into the bedroom with Edward waiting for me, wearing nothing but one of French lingerie sets in my suitcase. I shuddered at the thought. Sure, I may be able to wear some of the less exposing pieces, but I certainly wasn't ready for _that_ yet. Even the thought was embarrassing.

Still, if that was what it took... my mind was borderline desperation now. I couldn't focus on how ludicrous I sounded, though. Trying to lure my husband into bed, risking my own embarrassment just to make him touch me again. It made me sound so scheming. It looked like Edward wasn't the only one with a plan.

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><p><strong><em>Again, I love suggestions! Sorry there is a bit of a cliffhanger at the end there, but I wanted to get Bella's line out before the next chapter. Please keep telling me ideas of scene you would like to see pop up in this story! Thanks to all the amazing reviewers!<em>**


	6. Night Three

**_Sorry, this isn't a very long chapter. In the next few chapters I will cover the waterfall scene and the lingerie scenes, so you'll just have to bear with me while I get this little idea out of the way. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it!_**

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><p>"This is getting crazy," I complained as I drooped over my plate. It had taken me only minutes to consume the full-sized meal Edward had prepared for me. I had scoffed the chicken and salad dish down hot, ignoring how it burned my throat. I even had the appetite to consume all the leftovers, though there would have been enough to last for at least two dinners. Edward seemed happy to provide me with as much food as my suddenly hungry stomach craved, probably putting it down to my increased physical activity.<p>

"We could go and see the parrots this afternoon?" Edward suggested hopefully. Anything to keep me distracted and worn out, until the time comes that I would fall asleep without badgering him about the whole sex issue. "You could burn off your meal," Edward added on with a smile, completely aware of just how much food I had consumed since coming here.

"Can't we just stay here for the afternoon?" I asked, my voice almost whining. "I'm far too full to walk anywhere. We could read a book, or watch a DVD..." I suggested it without too much hope. Edward didn't seem big on any idea which didn't involve some form of distraction, for me at least. Edward's expression became the perfect mix of disappointment and surrender. Although I knew what he was doing, his facade was so believable.

"It's the perfect afternoon to see them, Bella," Edward pleaded, taking me into his arms. "I don't want you to miss anything, and if you are too tired to walk, I'll carry you." I guess being in Edward's arms for the next few hours was the next best thing to sitting on the couch with him watching a movie. After what happened before lunch, I guessed he would be even more hesitant to touch me.

As soon as he saw agreement in my face, Edward had me scooped up and in his arms. I cradled into his chest, leaning my cheek against his shoulder. At some point that I hadn't realised, maybe when I was changing, Edward had got changed too. Normally I wouldn't notice what Edward would wear. When you have a face like a god, why would anyone be concerned with what you wore? But I definitely was aware of Edward's shirt, or to be more accurate, two shirts. At least his button-down over shirt was undone, though his tight fitting undershirt would be harder to get him out of.

As we, well, Edward ran, I tried to focus on being close to him. His arms caressed the bare skin of my legs, courtesy of Alice's tiny little shorts she had packed. Even though there were quite a few layers between our skins, I could feel the coolness of Edward's body radiating onto my own. In such a hot climate, I leaned into the coolness. Edward seemed oblivious to my attempts to get closer to him, though he was probably just trying to avoid bringing attention to them, not wanting to ruin the moment and bring up unfavourable topics. Not that those unfavourable topics could be avoided.

"Do you hear that, Bella?" Edward asked suddenly, pulling me away from my thoughts. I listened out, trying to see what he was talking about. There were the standard sounds of the rustling of tree leaves, and the sound of a river nearby. As I concentrated, I could hear kind of a screeching sound in the distance.

"I think so," I told him, trying to work out whether the sound was real, or a product of my imagination. I was known to do that sometimes. As we travelled further, the sound became louder and louder. Edward travelled in a slight arc, exposing dozens of brightly coloured parrots. I opened my mouth slightly, amazed. Never had I seen so much colour. The parrots screeched and flew around only ten yards from us, where Edward had paused. There was a small patch of grass where we sat down. Edward put his arm around my shoulders keeping me close. I more than willingly leaned into the side of his body.

We stayed a small distance away from the parrots, Edward barely moving, his presence frightening the birds. Still, the noise didn't die down. We stayed like that for a long time, just watching. I didn't think I would be able to stare at birds for so long, but their colours were so fascinating. It felt like a scene taken directly from a movie. In the end though, the noise was becoming a bit too much. I covered my ears against the squabbling.

"Are you ready to go back?" Edward asked, having to raise his voice over the noise of the parrots just so I could hear him. I nodded, and then we were flying back through the forest at a pace much faster than any human could ever run. Only seconds later I could recognize the distinct shape of the house standing out from the green coloured forest. Edward sat me down on one of the familiar seats at the table inside, drifting over to the kitchen.

"What would you like for dinner?" Edward asked, pulling a few cooling utensils out from one of the many cabinets. For a family that didn't eat, the kitchen was extremely large and extravagant. I was surprised the see that the sun was already setting outside, the bright colours not fading as beams of orange and pink lit up the room.

"I don't mind," I said offhand, not really paying attention. My stomach grumbled in anticipation. I had never really been a big eater. I could get by off one meal a day if I needed, but this was seriously crazy. Even after days of Renee's fitness phase I didn't need to eat this much to keep going. Maybe it's just the unfamiliarity of it all. This place was doing strange things to my body, first the nightmares, now the enormous appetite.

Edward had food in front of my chair within minutes, which my stomach was thankful for. I guess I didn't realise how hungry I was until I started consuming the mountain of food Edward had prepared. He watched patiently as I ate the meal quickly, looking a bit satisfied as I reached for a second helping. Clearly his scheme to wear me out was working. As I finished the last mouthful, I drooped over my plate, slumping onto the table.

I didn't know whether I fell asleep, or my mind was unable to react, but I soon felt Edward's cool arms lifting me up, cradling me to his chest as he carried me off to the bedroom. I wanted to tell him I was fine to get changed. I wanted to lift my neck and kiss him with as much force as I could. I wanted to plead with him, beg if need be, for him to have a real honeymoon for a second time. But my body wouldn't follow my thoughts. Despite the resistance in my brain, I felt my eyes droop and my body go loose as I fell out of consciousness.

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><p><strong><em>Upon re-reading this part of Breaking Dawn, I remembered Bella had fallen asleep at the table once and I wanted to get this out of the way so I could have a full few nights of Bella wearing Alice's idea of appropriate lingerie and trying to convince Edward to sleep with her again. The waterfall scene should be coming up next chapter if things go to plan! Please tell me what you think, and what you would like me to include!<em>**


	7. Day Four

**_Finally it's the waterfall scene! This one was very hard to do, so this is my interpretation of it, though it may be different to how you saw the scene. I can still continue this scene if there were parts I missed that you wanted to be included, so please review or send me a message if you do._ **

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><p>My eyes flew open, my breathing laboured and too fast. I lay panting on the spot for a few moments, trying to bring myself back to reality. <em>It's just a dream<em>, I told myself. It was all just a dream. Yet it had been so real. It had felt like I was there, like I could have reached out and touched the beautiful little boy in front of me, the one I simply had to protect. The colours had been so real, too. My whole dream had a blood-red tint, so bright and vivid. Maybe it was just the sun streaming through my eyelids, but it felt so real to me.

"Bella?" Edward asked, a slightly panicked tone underneath his calm facade. I lay still in his arms for a moment, trying to recover. I tried to focus on the feel of his cool arms against my back, the feel of my cheek against his bare chest. That helped, took my mind of the awful but completely real nightmare. I pulled myself closer to Edward. _This_ was where I am, not in my nightmare. Edward seemed content enough to pull my still quivering body close, holding me against his body.

"Bella, please," Edward pleaded, panic clear in his usually controlled tone. "Bella, tell me what's wrong!" I took a deep unsteady breath, my heartbeat more calm now that I could feel every plane of Edward's body against mine. I could open my eyes and stare out the window to see the beach. I could even smell the distinctly sea-like aroma of the house.

"I'm okay," I comforted him, though I was more talking to myself. "It was just a dream. It wasn't real." Edward relaxed slightly, glad that I wasn't hurt or having a mental breakdown or anything like that. Still, he stroked my hair gently, keeping one arm firmly around my waist. I hadn't noticed before through the shivering in terror, but my body was much too hot. Looking down, I realised I was still in yesterdays clothing.

I tried to remember going to bed, and came up empty. The last thing I could remember was eating dinner, but that seemed like a whole decade ago now. The sun outside indicated I had slept away most of the morning. Normally I got very little sleep when I was having nightmares. As I tried to recall the events of the day before, I remembered Edward carrying me from the table to bed. I _was_ a little surprised he hadn't changed me into something more appropriate to sleep in, but I guess he would be staying away from anything which could give me the wrong idea, now especially.

I removed my cheek from Edward's chest, leaning so I could press my lips to his. Edward kissed me back softly for a moment, not wanting to hurt my feelings. He was aware of the pain it caused when he had to say no. As Edward's lips pulled away from mine, I twined my fingers in his hair, trying to prevent the removal of his lips from mine. Of course, I was unsuccessful, my human strength no match for him. At least his lips did move to my throat, placing a few kisses there before pulling away completely.

"What would you like to do today?" Edward asked, though I knew he wouldn't appreciate my answer. If I had my way, anything we did wouldn't involve us moving from this house anytime soon. In fact, we wouldn't even need to move from the bed. But that was out of the questions, for Edward anyway. As I went to reply, my stomach grumbled uneasily. One disadvantage of sleeping such long nights was that my stomach was hungry too soon, and Edward would make his run for it as soon as I woke up.

"How about we start with breakfast?" Edward suggested, getting off the bed and pulling his shirt back on with unconscious gracefulness. He held his hand out, steadying me as I swayed on my feet. Now the island was affecting my sense of balance? Maybe it was just the tiredness and lack of food which made me more clumsy than usual.

"Is there even any point in asking what you would like for breakfast this morning?" Edward asked, holding up another blue carton of eggs. I wouldn't have minded making my own breakfast- it would have made me feel more useful- but Edward seemed happy as he cooked, wincing a bit as he handled the raw bacon. I wondered how I would react to food when my body no longer craved it. Would the smell of bacon and cheese still smell appealing, or would it be repulsive to me? I let my mind drift off, still tired despite sleeping for hours.

"What's your plan for today?" I asked between mouthfuls, not waiting for the eggs to cool down before stuffing the next bite into my mouth. No doubt whatever we did would be full-on physical activity, designed to wear me out. Mind you, _my_ idea of what we should do today wasn't that different.

"Esme suggested we go to see one of the waterfalls on the other side of the island," Edward suggested, his eyes lighting up. I wondered if vampires still have the equivalent of an adrenaline rush the way humans do. Seeing Edward's exuberated expression when he was travelling at high speeds convinced me there might be.

"Sure," I agreed casually. It would be much easier to _seduce_ him later tonight, when we were both in a bed. Edward controlled his reaction to my answer. No doubt he would have been expecting me to plead with him to stay home and watch a DVD, or relax in bed. Edward smiled slightly. In truth, I felt a bit deceptive. He probably thought I was going to be good now and not keep on at him about the sex thing. He couldn't have been more wrong.

"Why don't you get changed into a bathing suit?" Edward suggested, clearing the table. "I don't know how long you will want to stay, so I'll go prepare you some lunch." Edward's mood seemed a bit more uplifted now, more relaxed. I would try and keep that mood as long as I could.

I wandered off down the hallway, through the chicken coop and stopped at the suitcase. _My_ suitcase, even though not a single item resembled anything I would have chosen for myself. I fumbled around the various thin strips of material Alice had packed for me as my '_bathing suits_.' Seriously, they could hardly be called appropriate swimwear. If I wore even half of these items to a public swimming pool, I would surely get kicked out for indecent exposure.

Finally I settled on one of the few white bikini's Alice had packed. It wasn't _as_ bad as some of the other items, though it would surely show more skin that I was used to. However, with the bruises fading a lot more now, maybe showing more skin wouldn't be too detrimental to my argument. Edward would see how quickly I have healed, and how little pain I was in, and maybe he might try again.

I dressed quickly, and took a deep breath before looking in the mirror. Thankfully, the bruises along my ribcage and legs had pretty much vanished, to my human eyesight at least. There were still marks along my shoulders and my arms, but now they were a distinct yellow colour as opposed to purple. I pulled one of Alice's small cotton dresses over my head, this one a light green colour.

I didn't know whereabouts Edward was, what with his silent movements, so I padded off into the kitchen to wait for him, nibbling on some of the leftovers I didn't get around to consuming last night. Less than thirty seconds later, Edward joined me, wearing a similar pair of board shorts to the ones he wore yesterday, these ones black. The way the darkness of his shorts compared to the paleness of his skin made an amazing contrast. Maybe black was my favourite colour on Edward. I pondered that for a moment. No, any colour was my favourite on Edward.

"Ready to go?" Edward asked, eying me as I picked some berries from the fruit basket on the counter. I quickly swallowed the last mouthful.

"Yep," I replied, rising off my seat to go walk over to where he stood. Being me, I tripped on the edge of a rug on my way. Edward's hands caught my body well before I hit the ground, and I was standing up straight again before my brain even recognised that I fell.

"What am I going to do with you?" Edward laughed to himself, throwing an arm around my waist and leading me out onto the beach. Even though it was early, the sun warmed the sand and the air. We walked in the shallows of the water, also heated by the flaming ball of warmth in the sky. Edward stared in amusement as I skipped over the waves that rolled into shore, catching me whenever my feet didn't land where I intended them to.

At some invisible signal that I didn't notice, Edward paused. Due to our interlinked fingers, I was pulled to a gentle stop as well. Edward bent down, obviously giving me the cue to climb onto his back. With a little help from Edward, I managed to have my arms and legs locked around him, gripping onto his body, preparing for the sudden rush of wind. He took off, and it felt like we were flying. As we shot towards the middle of the island, through all the jungle-like trees, I rested my chin against Edward's shoulder. He had the exhilaration back in his run, the elated way he travelled when we were alone. I pressed my lips against his jugular, feeling his cool, perfect skin under my own.

We stopped at the bottom of a rocky cliff face, which looked very steep from where we were at the bottom. I could hear the distinct sound of gushing water of the other side of the giant rocky structure, the crashing of the water as it hit something on the other side. Edward put me down for a moment. I briefly speculated whether he was expecting me to get up to the top on my own two clumsy feet, but instead he started to unbutton his shirt. I took that as the sign to remove my own dress, pulling the fabric quickly over the head and checked to make sure the thin pieces of fabric that made up my swimsuit stayed in place.

Edward bent down in front of my, my signal to climb onto his back. Looking at the sharp angle of the cliff face above, I tightened my grip to a chokehold which would prevent a human from breathing. The journey to the top took longer than I was used to, what with Edward's super speed and all. I had to grip on tight to prevent myself from sliding off. Not that Edward would have allowed that anyway. At least as we travelled I could focus on the feel of Edward's smooth, marble skin against my own. Maybe I wouldn't be so hard on Alice for forcing these thin, strappy little two piece suits on me.

Soon enough, the gradient of the cliff started getting shallower, a steady slope to the top. Edward put me down on my feet a few metres before the top where the surface was flat enough that I shouldn't fall over. Still, Edward kept his hands firmly on my waist, guiding me in the right direction as I tried to keep my balance. I finally reached the top of the rock, staying well back from the edge. The sound of the water crashing below was much louder now, like being in the middle of a thunderstorm, except it was too hot and humid here for any rain to fall.

Edward held me slightly back from the edge, his arms slightly restraining around my waist. Not that I minded. His touch sent a jolt of electricity through my body. I could see everything below. I could see the dangerously fast water crashing into the deep pool below. I could see the gushing of the water shooting over the edge of my cliff to the right of where we stood. I had never really been scared of heights, or water before, but my body seemed to lean away from the edge. Only a few months ago I had thrown myself of a cliff _higher_ than this one, and now I was too afraid to get anywhere near the waterfall.

"Scared?" Edward suddenly whispered in my ear, his cool breath brushing across my face. I leaned closer towards him- an instinct.

"No," I replied, but my shaking voice and racing heartbeat gave me away. Edward laughed in my ear, as if I had recognised the lie myself.

"You ran off to play with werewolves, and you have a vampire for a husband, and you are scared of a little height and water?" Edward asked, his voice amused now. I tried to ignore what he said about the werewolves. Up until now, the Jacob draw had been well closed. Jacob had made his choice, and I had made mine. We would just have to leave it at that. I tried to focus on more pleasant things, like that way he said _husband_. Once upon a time, that word would have had me cringing and covering my ears, but now I welcomed it. It reminded me that Edward and I belong to each other. Of course, we had before, but now it was official. Edward was _mine_. Forever.

Edward took the first move, slinging me onto his back. As I saw what he was doing, I threw my arms and legs around his body as tightly as I could manage. I buried my face into his neck, not looking down at the large drop we were suddenly inches away from. Edward reached back and lifted my chin so he could kiss me lightly on the lips, washing away all my fears. It reminded me of what he had done when he ran with me one of the first times.

"Ready?" Edward asked, crouching down a bit to spring forward. I didn't trust my voice, so I nodded against his cheek, taking a huge breath. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to close my eyes. Again. One second we were at the top of the cliff, the next we were falling downwards, much faster than I ever remembered falling. The air whooshed past us, blowing my hair out in all directions. Our bodies soon crashed into the water, separated now. As I was swimming towards the surface, I felt sight pressure on either side of my hips, and then I was shooting upwards, breaking the surface. Edward held me up and I caught my breath, his eyes exhilarated with excitement that any form of speed brought.

In the water, Edward's skin was warmer. Although I had absolutely no problem with the normal temperature of his skin, I had to admit that I liked the feel of his warmed skin against mine. Edward kissed me lightly on the lips once, no more than a peck. Instinctively, I leaned in closer, trying to kiss him with passion I truly felt. Before my lips even touched his, I was out of the water, standing on a small bank beside the base of the waterfall. Edward stood a few feet away from me, clearly distancing himself from my hormone-ridden body. As he turned his expression away from me, I saw a glimmer of some emotion in his eyes he tried to hide. Was it longing? Did Edward want to try again almost as much as I did?

_No_, I told myself, stopping myself from feeling false hope. Despite trying, a wave of what felt like rejection rushed through my veins. The words from the first time I had tried to seduce Edward echoed in my head. I knew I was wanted now at least, but I was still unwantable. Edward wouldn't let himself want me in that way until I was changed. I could feel the moisture in my eyes, teardrops clouding my already hazy vision. I wiped my hand across my eyes, trying to make it look like it was just water. Edward was not fooled.

"Bella? Are you okay?" He asked, gathering my body in his arms. "We don't have to go again if you don't want to. I'm sorry. I should have known it was too much..." I quickly grasped that Edward's frantic apologizing was because he thought his choice of activity was wrong. If I wasn't so emotional, I would have laughed. Edward should know by now that I'm not scared of something as small as a little jump into water. I rushed to reassure him.

"No it's not that at all. That was really fun," I told him honestly. Edward raised an eyebrow, his face confused.

"Then why are you upset?" Edward asked. I didn't want to tell him the real reason. All that would lead to would be Edward telling me yet again why he didn't want to touch me while I was still human. Then I would feel guilty for trying to push him into it, and he would feel guilty he couldn't give me the thing I wanted. It would be best to wait until later, when we have time away from all the distractions of the outdoors.

"I'm not upset," I lied, a smile lighting up my face. I tried to seem enthusiastic as I took his hand, which wasn't too difficult. Edward didn't look completely convinced, but he still let me take his hand and drag him to the base of the cliff for another turn. Edward seemed to relax a little as he saw my change in mood. _Later_, I told myself. It wouldn't be hard to enjoy myself now knowing that later there might be reason for a much greater sense of enjoyment.

It wasn't long before we were at the top of the cliff again. I excitedly scrambled onto Edward's back, keeping my eyes wide open as we plummeted towards the water much faster than any human would be capable of. As soon as my body was submerged, I scrambled to the surface, gasping for oxygen. Edward held me again while I caught my breath. Although I would have been able to keep myself afloat without his help, I didn't want to say anything.

Taking a chance, I gripped my arms around Edward's neck, my legs twisting around his beneath the water. I expected Edward to pull away, saying something about how we shouldn't push our luck. So I was a little surprised when he pinned my body against his own, his arms locked around me like constraining vices. Knowing that I wouldn't be successful, I clung to him with all the force I was capable of, crashing my lips against his. Edward kissed me back, his enthusiasm almost as great as my own. I knew that I should stop. I knew it, but I couldn't un-plaster my body from his.

There was a strange sense of relief in me, like I was getting my first breath of oxygen after suffocating. It felt so natural and right to be close to Edward. The small, thin pieces of fabric between us had become like walls, or barriers. My body was showing its obvious direction, though my mind was thinking of nothing but Edward's body and lips against my own. I felt my hands frantically running over the perfectly formed muscles of Edward's back, trying to pull him closer. My path was becoming more and more obvious to both of us. As I reached up to bring Edward's lips back to mine, my hands came up empty.

One second Edward was beside me, the next he was gone. Without his arms to hold me up, I had sunk back into the water. I searched my eyes around desperately. Edward was a good ten yards away, his back facing me. The scene faintly reminded me of that first time in the meadow, when I had leaned too close to Edward. He was distancing himself. This was becoming too much for him to handle. I felt a pang of guilt, then another burst of hope. _Mind over matter_, Edward had said when I had noticed it was easier for him to be close to me after a little practice. That's all we needed to do- practice.

I swam over to the edge of the water where Edward had reappeared. He reached down to help me out of the water, releasing my hand as soon as I was stably on land. We waited for a few moments in awkward silence, none of us really knowing what to say about what just happened. _I understand, you needed some space_, I could have said. Or I could have told him _don't you see how simple it would be for us to try again? _A million phrases came to mind, but none of them seemed right.

Finally the silence was broken by my stomach signalling it was time for lunch. Edward seemed grateful for the distraction, rushing over to pull some of the sandwiches he had prepared earlier out of the backpack. I ate quickly, partly because I was ravenous, but mostly because I didn't know what to say to him. Eating was a good excuse for not talking, but I knew we had to start sometime. By the looks of it, Edward wouldn't be the one to start that conversation.

"Why did you swim away from me?" I asked, trying to keep my tone casual and relaxed, like I didn't really care for my answer. Of course, Edward knew me far too well to fall for my little act at nonchalance. He looked away from my eyes uncomfortably, hiding any emotion there.

"You know why," Edward said eventually, his voice slightly harder than normal.

"The last time that happened it was because you were afraid you were losing control. We have kissed over a thousand times, Edward," I explained, knowing my argument wouldn't work. "So I don't understand why that would be too much for you." Edward took a deep breath before answering. For a moment he looked slightly angry, though it could just be my mind blowing things out of proportion again.

"You and I both know that we wouldn't have stopped at kissing, Bella," Edward told me in a flat voice. He wasn't wrong. "I think I have already showed that I can't remain in control when we go any further than that." Edward pointed to my yellowed arms with his eyes.

"You haven't shown anything like that!" I exclaimed a bit too loudly. It took me a second to realise there was really no need to keep my voice down. No one would hear me anyway. Still, I tried to quieten my tone. "What happened to mind over matter?" Edward sighed loudly in exasperation.

"That went out the window when I did _this_ to you, Bella," he said angrily, running his fingers lightly over the marks left on my arms and shoulders. I shrugged his hand off. They were invisible to me.

"_Please_, Edward," I begged him again. "Just _please_. What about if I promise we will only try," I pleaded. It had worked in the past. But we both knew underneath that trying would not be enough, for me at least.

"No," Edward said firmly, trying to hide the pain in his eyes. I could see how much it was hurting him to have to reject me. At least I could comfort myself knowing he would not have to hurt over this soon. I would try persuading him again tonight, doing anything and everything. I would even wear one of Alice's scary nightgowns if it meant he would see just how much I wanted this. How much I was willing to give to get my way.

_Tonight then_, I told myself. Maybe when our bodies must be against each other for the sake of my overheating it would be easier to keep him close to me. I couldn't even lie convincingly to myself. I had tried begging, I had tried pleading, I had even tried the old guilt-tripping thing, but nothing had worked. I had tried taking my opportunities when we were close, but Edward's strength would prevent us from achieving the closeness my body was craving. What else was left to try?

I had never been very good at seduction. The one person I had tried to seduce didn't even know what I was doing at first. I assumed that Edward wasn't able to see just how desperately my body wanted- needed- his. Words obviously weren't enough. I would need to show him somehow. The vision of me strutting into the bedroom in Alice's French lingerie flashed back into my head again. Only now, it didn't seem so outrageous. _If that is what it takes_, I said to myself, an idea forming in my mind.

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><p><strong><em>Sorry for the small cliffhanger there, I wasn't really sure if I would continue this scene, or go straight onto the night chapter. Please tell me what you think!<em>**


	8. Night Four

**_Sorry, this one took a little longer to write. I wasn't really sure how I was going to write this chapter when I started, so I made it up as I went along. I hope it makes enough sense and isn't too much like my previous chapters. As always, I love reviews, advice and suggestions. Enjoy!_**

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><p>My heart raced as I scrambled hastily through the suitcase of now not-so-neatly folded piles. I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, or what I was hoping to find, but it certainly wasn't the sheer lace and dangerously thin strips of fabric which fell through my fingers. I had divided my suitcase into two piles; clothing which wasn't <em>too<em> bad to wear, and then all of Alice's choices of 'suitable' nightwear. I groaned, almost wishing I had never thought of this ridiculous, sure to fail idea.

After a long debate between the two voices inside my head- the voice which was convincing me to give up like a good wife, and the voice which convinced me the first voice was wrong- I stared back down at the pile of so-called 'clothing'. My aim wasn't too clear, even to myself. As if a piece of fabric would be enough to show Edward how much my pheromone-fuelled body needed his perfect, obviously more than human body. But I had to try.

My mind changed every few seconds. First I was going to wear the pale pink top-and-briefs satin set which I found in the 'safe' pile, but since Edward seemed to notice nothing, reacting as if I was wearing my old ripped sweatpants like any other night, I knew I would have to delve into Alice's selections if I had a hope of catching his attention.

When I pushed aside all French-tagged see-through garments from Alice's pile, I only had a few things left to choose from. Since I was unable to confidently walk into the bedroom wearing the mostly see-through power blue barely-reach-the-thigh nightgown, I knew I would have to brave one of the less lingerie-ish but still just as scary two piece sets.

I tried to look at the garment in my hand as little as possible as I carried it into the panelled bathroom. It was black, lacy and would cover very little skin, but at least this one was opaque enough to not send my confidence down the drain. Quickly I dressed, my heartbeat picking out double time every time I caught a glance of myself in the mirror.

Finally dressed, I snuck a glance in the mirror through the corner of my eye. I wasn't sure what I expected to see, but I had hoped at least wearing the scary lingerie set would have given me enough confidence to walk into the bedroom without dying of embarrassment. But there I was, cheeks flaming and my body held awkwardly. My brain told me to pull my shoulders back and hold my head high, but my posture did not change.

_Oh well_, I though. So maybe I wouldn't be able to do this- whatever _this_ was- confident and seductive. I would just have to settle for awkward and flushed. As I neared the door to the blue room, my heartbeat sped like crazy, threatening to jump right out of my chest. I worked to slow it down and control my breathing. The last thing I needed right now was Edward panicking over my health.

Of course, he would have been able to hear my heartbeat clearly for the last ten minutes, so Edward's eyes were alert and anxious as I stumbled into the bedroom. As I did, I saw his eyes widen slightly at was I was wearing. It was probably just the horror of seeing my bruised, human body, but I had to convince myself I had a shot tonight. It was the only way I would be able to live through the next few moments.

By the time I had taken a deep breath, Edward had controlled his reaction. He looked no more excited at what I was wearing than he had when I would sleep in my old holey sweats. I grimaced, and a surprising amount of confidence came over me. Without looking in any of the large mirrors throughout the room, or looking down to see the fabric which partially covered my body, I twisted my body around, showing off the scary garment from all angles. But, because of my lifetime of insecurities, it probably came across as awkward, as opposed to confident and seductive, the way I had planned. By the time I looked up at his eyes again, I was pink and flustered.

Edward looked to be fighting a smile slightly. I must have looked as ridiculous as I felt. Although the rest of his face looked amused, I could see something more in Edward's eyes. At first I thought it was disappointment, but upon a second glance, it looked more agonized than anything else. I tried not to put too much thought into it, worried I would lose the last very thin strand of confidence I had.

"What do you think of Alice's choice for sleepwear?" I asked him, feigning self-confidence. In truth, I had placed a lot of weight on his answer. All I needed was something which would show he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. Edward seemed indifferent, his tone casual when he replied. Too casual.

"You look beautiful, but then again, you always do," Edward smiled, to which I scowled. "Of course, I never had a problem with your choice of nightwear." His answer had my eyebrows pulling together. He was too good at this. It wasn't fair. Sure, my heart pretty much leaps out of my chest every time he looked at me- something _he_ is aware of- but he can control his reactions, whatever they may be.

Still sulking from his perfectly constructed answer, I climbed into bed, ignoring Edward when he tried to pull the pale blue sheet over my body. The sun was still setting, so the room was filled with its bright, warm rays. With a sigh, Edward held his arms out, a look of resignation of his face. I quickly understood that he had misinterpreted my rejection of the sheet. Not that it would have made any difference what his reasoning was; I still shuffled into his arms, pressing my warm, feverish body against his cool one.

Now that I was where I wanted to be, I realised I had no idea whatsoever how to proceed. Obviously begging and pleading had failed for me in the past, leaving Edward feeling even more like a monster than he already felt. Compromising had worked for us before, but I couldn't think of something I could give him in return. Already he had given me a, well two, shiny new cars, I had agreed to marry him, and he even payed my fees for Dartmouth while I sat silently. So I decided to try and reason with him. Maybe we could meet at a midpoint, if one even exists.

After a long moment of silence while I ran over the possibilities of things to say in my head, Edward ran his fingers carefully down my cheek. Although my eyes were closed, he knew I was still awake, deep in thought. In remembered how hard it is for him, not knowing where my mind is. Of course, he wouldn't be a fan of my thoughts at the current moment. As if on cue, Edward asked that familiar question which often resulted in my cheeks flaming with blush.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked, his voice low and smooth. When he had asked the question, my mind was running over every detail of our wedding night. I had been looking for something- anything- which would make him inclined to believe we _needed_ to try again. Of course, I couldn't tell that to Edward, not yet.

"Nothing," I lied through blushed cheeks, not meeting his eyes. Edward tilted my face upwards with his finger, forcing me to stare into his burning gold eyes. Obviously, my poker face didn't fool him. I tried to break my gaze away from his. Edward groaned.

"Bella," he complained. "Would you _please_ tell me what you are thinking?" Edward's voice turned pleading, melting my resolve.

"You don't want to hear it," I told him honestly, trying to keep my voice from shaking. Edward opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off. "You may want to hear it, but I'll bet you'll wish that I wasn't thinking it." Edward caught onto my thoughts easily, his face turning from curious to disapproving.

"Bella," he said, his tone one I had come to recognise lately.

"Don't start," I interrupted, feeling angry all of a sudden. It was very rare when I felt angry at Edward. Most of the time I was just angry at myself. Of course, when I was angry at him, it wasn't for the reasons he believed I should be angry. My bruises, for instance. I didn't blame Edward for them one little bit. In fact, I blamed my weak, easily-marked, fragile human body. The only thing that angered me was that he refused to overlook the not-even-painful marks on my skin to see the bigger picture.

"I'm sorry," Edward muttered, and I had to strain my ears to hear it. Although I knew it was wrong, selfish and even toturous, I took advantage of his moment of weakness.

"_Please_, Edward," I begged. "I want you. I _need_ you. I don't know how much longer my body will be able to stand this." I waved my hand to the space that had, at some point I didn't notice, appeared between our bodies.

"You're body won't be ruled by its hormones much longer, Bella. Just be a little bit patient." Edward's attempts at reassurance only sparked a light within me.

"But that's exactly my point. I won't be like _this_ much longer. I won't want you the same way I do now for a long time, and even then, I'll never have this _need_ as the first thing on my mind." Edward was shaking his head before I had even finished, clearly in disagreement.

"You'll feel completely yourself after no time. You'll still be capable of feeling how you feel now, actually, stronger than you feel now. I'm sure blood won't always be the first thing on your mind." Now I was shaking my head. Sure, I had no experience with being a vampire, but seeing how Edward is, I couldn't imagine that a vampire could feel completely driven towards one activity. If that were possible, we wouldn't be in this situation right now.

"This- how I feel now- this is all I know, Edward. Aren't you the one always making sure I have human experiences, making sure I don't feel like I am missing out on something? If we don't try again, I'll feel like I have left something behind with my human life I will never get back." As true as the words were, I immediately regretted them. My words seemed to cut like knifes, Edward's expression twisting into a mask of pain and regret, but mostly pain.

"I'm sorry," I said, my eyes filling up with the tears threatening to overflow. "I'm the most selfish monster imaginable. That was cruel, and unbelievably selfish." But it was Edward who wrapped his arms around me, comforting _me_. _I_ wasn't the one who needed to be comforted.

"Not selfish," Edward contradicted me, keeping his voice soft, like cooing to a young child. I guessed that to him, I was just as vulnerable and innocent. "You're just ruled by your pheromones."

"That's just it!" I wailed, bordering on hysterics. Edward patted my back, tucking me tightly into his chest. If I was a good, selfless person, I would put on a brave face and tell Edward not to worry. I would go to sleep without another word on the topic, and try to enjoy the rest of my limited time alone with my husband. But I wasn't a good person. I was horrible and selfish, there was no denying it.

"Bella, as a vampire, you'll be able to feel emotions just like any other human. To a greater extent, in fact. I can _promise_ you that you will feel this way again, soon. The way you supposedly feel about wanting me can't even compare to the magnitude of want I have for you." I ignored the supposedly. Though they were supposed to help, his words just ripped through my chest. Because if he really wanted me even half as much as I wanted him, we wouldn't be having this argument, and we would be continuing our honeymoon the way a honeymoon _should_ be done. Of course, I didn't mention any of this out loud. Edward mistook my silence as a sign of disbelief at his words.

"Truly Bella," he said in a soft tone. "I know you will take a lot of convincing, but I do want you in that way. You have no idea how hard it is to say no when you plead with me."

"Then why don't you both spare us the pain and give in?" I said reflexively, my voice sharper than I had intended thanks to the lump rising in my throat. Edward rolled away from my slightly, hiding his reaction. I stayed silent while he composed himself. When he looked me in the eyes again, his face was detached.

"Nothing you can say will make me risk your life again. I know you don't appreciate just how dangerous the situation is for you, but _please_, just try to understand," I could hear the emotion leaking into his voice as he finished. Though I hadn't realised it before, my eyelids were drooping and it was becoming very difficult to concentrate. All his words were starting to become mixed together.

"No," I managed to mumble as my brain tried to shut down for the night. I wasn't even able to form a complete sentence. Edward, sensing that I was able to fall asleep any minute, tried to lighten the mood.

"You're as stubborn as always," he laughed quietly, pulling me into his cool arms where I would hopefully stay for the rest of the night. I wanted to say something, but my mind just wasn't up to it. Despite sleeping for hours the night before, I could feel my body drifting away. I could hear the faint sound of my lullaby as my heavy eyelids closed and my body turned limp.


	9. Day Five

**_Thank you all so much for the amazing reviews and support so far! You guys are truly amazing, and I can't tell you how much your reviews mean to me. There are only two more nights and two more days after this one before Edward finally gives in (as taken from the book), so I need a few ideas of what more activites you would like me to cover during the days. Please send me a review or message with any suggestions you may have._ **

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><p>The colours were so vivid, so real. I didn't know whether I was actually underwater, swimming with the multicoloured fish, or if that was just part of one of my too-real dreams. Everything was so <em>bright<em>. And I could see with such precision and clarity, more than usual for my dreams. I clamped my eyes shut as I felt consciousness approaching. _This_ dream, at least was a good one. I welcomed the change from the usual line of black coming to destroy the green-eyed human boy I so desperately needed to protect.

Edward was in my dream, too, though that was of little surprise to me. I couldn't remember a good dream I had experienced since meeting him that he _hadn't_ appeared in. It was at that point that I knew for certain that I was dreaming, for two main reasons. The first reason was that all the colourful fish surrounded Edward and me in the water. I had seen enough in the past few days here to know that any living creature all but petrified with the presence of a vampire. Yet these fish swam confidently around us, shooting our beams of colour into our magical moment.

Then there was the second reason I knew I was dreaming. The part of the dream which caused me the most extreme pleasure, and the most extreme pain. Because amongst the beautiful colours and the swimming fish, Edward and I were continuing our _real_ honeymoon. The way his lips fiercely crashed against mine, though I knew it was only a product of my desperate imagination, had felt so _real_. I couldn't tear myself away from the dream I knew would cause me pain the second I registered it was completely in my head. More than that, I didn't want to, because every touch from Edward, as deceitfully false as they were, felt so _right_.

I clamped my eyes tighter, not willing to accept that the dream was merely that; a dream. I knew that for my own sanity, I needed to wake up. I needed to leave the dream behind, and face reality; the reality in which my husband would never allow himself to touch me properly while I was still human. But every gentle caress, every passionate kiss I received from this imagined Edward in my mind kept me submerged. I knew with every second I stayed asleep, the pain would skyrocket when I woke up. I knew this, but did nothing to prevent it.

A cool, feather light sensation brushed along my cheek. I tried to determine whether the touch was really happening, or whether my imagination had just got sadly out of hand. A lighter sensation much more perfect than imaginable pressed lightly to my lips. _This_ I knew was not part of my dream. There was a huge difference between the slightly rougher, passionate Edward from my dream and the hesitant, treat-me-like-I-was-made-of-glass Edward which existed in reality. I opened my eyes slowly.

"Good morning, love," Edward crooned in a voice so quiet and serene it didn't pierce the silence the way my rough human voice would have. I blinked twice, bringing myself away from my imagined heaven and back to the reality of the room. The teak walls were alight with the sun, which seemed to be coming from all directions in the highly-windowed room. The angle which the sun came in the room surprised me. It felt far more like midday than the morning. I looked across at the little clock on the dresser. _11:05am_. Blinking again, I realised I had slept away most of the morning, and I hadn't even gone to bed late last night. Even more surprisingly, I felt strangely tired.

Awkwardly I scrambled around as I tried to sit up, hoping a little movement and fresh air would wake me up completely. Edward was off the bed in one fluid movement, travelling with such unconscious grace and beauty it hurt just to watch. As I twisted in bed, I realised Edward had placed a sheet over me sometime during the night, though it was hot enough that I could sleep in Edward's arms and still feel warm. Was the sight of my body really that hideous to him? Without checking, I noted that the bruises were all faded a lot, if not gone completely. Of course, Edward's sight was better than my own.

Then there was the tiny voice of hope in the back of my head. The one that took perfectly rationalised situations and twisted them around. _Maybe_, the voice told me, _maybe it wasn't the bruises that had him covering my body. _Vampire or not, he was still a , his upbringing left him modest and the perfect gentleman, but could there be more to it that wanting to hide the evidence of our wedding night left across my skin? Could my body be even remotely tempting to him in this form, bruised and weak as it was? I had to shake the thought out of my head before I could dwell on it too much. With the dream and the memories, it was already bordering on physical pain to see everything I wanted right in front of me, but know I couldn't have it.

My muscles being tired and my brain not quite fully conscious left my balance even worse off than usual. Edward helped me carefully off the bed and into the kitchen, his arms always extended, but only touching me when it looked like I was about to fall over. Or trip over. Or walk into a wall. I repressed a sigh as he released me immediately after saving me from the edge of the table, like my body was a taser-gun and shocked him every time he touched me.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" I asked as Edward prepared enough eggs for a small family, slumping onto my usual seat at the table. It felt like I was being waited on every second. It was making me spoilt. Edward denied another one of my offers of assistance. I lowered my eyes while he finished making breakfast, or lunch, to be more accurate. With I blush, I remembered what I was wearing from last night. Then it was downright embarrassing, even with the lowered lighting and the sudden confidence I had gained. Now it was just torturous and painful to look at. It was like having to walk around at the end of the race with a last place ribbon. Wasn't it bad enough that I hadn't been able to do the near impossible and seduce Edward? Now I had to wear the evidence of my failure further.

I hadn't realised Edward had returned with a plate full of eggs, toast and bacon until I smelt the extremely desirable aroma of food. He looked at me curiously as my cheeks flamed. Trying to ignore him, not wanting to explain _those_ thoughts, I dug right into the food. Like every other morning, I managed to finish off the much-to-large meal quickly. I could tell myself I was just preparing for the no-doubt highly physical activities I would endure today, but the truth was I was just _so hungry_.

"What do you have _planned_ today?" I asked when I was finished, emphasising my knowledge of his scheme. Edward pretended to be oblivious to my distaste, not confirming or denying his clear objective to keep me as busy as possible. But then again, I had a habit of taking innocent events and blowing them out of proportion. As far as I knew, all the activities Edward had lined up were just another attempt to get me to experience as much as I could while human.

"I was thinking we could go swim with the porpoises this afternoon," Edward suggested. His tone of voice and facial expression was far more effective at selling the idea than any infomercial I had seen on TV. I remembered the old expression I had used to describe the effect Edward had on people, me especially. _Dazzle_. Edward took my silence to mean confirmation, relieved I hadn't tried to convince him to take it easy and stay home.

"Why don't you go change into something more..." Edward ran his eyes quickly over my lacy, embarrassing lingerie. "Appropriate," he finished, cleaning up swiftly. I watched him carefully as he had looked over my clothing, or lack of. Always having the perfect poker face, Edward had showed no more emotion than if he had been looking over textbooks. I thought I saw his eyes harden slightly, but it was probably just my forever hopeful imagination making something out of nothing, yet again.

As I searched through the suitcase, the black lacy lingerie set seemed a thousand times _more appropriate_ than the scanty, barely-there bikinis Alice had packed for me. After a few minutes of searching, every dangerous piece of fabric looked just as bad as the last, so I gave up and settled on a blood red two-piece, not sure of how the colour would go with my frequently blush-reddened skin. Like most of Alice's items, the swimsuit looked a lot more revealing and skimpy on as it did off. The small triangles of the top seemed far too small, and the bottoms only just covered the essentials.

I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that the bruises which had covered my body were a thousand times better now. There were only faint marks left along my legs and torso, and the bruises on my arms and shoulders were far more yellow than green. My skin even seemed healthier than normal; having a distinct glow about it which I put down to the extra vitamin D I was absorbing here. I threw on one of the sundresses Alice had packed, this one a deep beige, and travelled back into the main room where Edward was waiting.

Once again, I was the last one ready. It didn't help that Edward could move around like the speed of light. Edward was waiting patiently by the door, though I could tell he was eager to get me out of the house. I raised my eyes curiously as I saw the bulky backpack Edward carried, but didn't say anything. It was probably just food, or a towel. Edward did have the habit of going slightly overboard with everything.

With the backpack in my usual spot, Edward carried me in his arms. I could feel the elation in his run, the effortless, carefree way he travelled when it was just us alone. I had been spending the last few weeks worrying about the wedding, Charlie and Renée, our wedding night, and Jacob. I forced myself to think his name. I didn't have too much time to process just how completely happy and relaxed I should be now. There was no more Victoria to worry about, no more newborn vampires threatening to hurt my family. The biggest threat from the Volturi would soon be eliminated as I joined the Cullen's in every way possible. I should be in absolute bliss, making the most of every moment I have alone with Edward before waiting out the few years as a bloodthirsty newborn.

As we headed for the western cove of the island, I had a bit of time to think. Edward seemed content with the quiet, and I took comfort from the smile which twitched on his lips every time he met my eyes. Words which had once been near the top of my blacklist, like _marriage_, _husband_ and _weddings_ now seemed like music to my ears. Maybe it was something to do with the fact that I now realised I get to keep Edward forever. He was _mine_, and I was his.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked eventually; being a mental mute was fine with me, but I knew how hard it was for Edward to be blocked off from my embarrassing, often confusing thoughts. The thick, jungle like trees were starting to fade around us, or at least that's how it appeared to me. The blinding speed didn't exactly help my already weak human eyesight.

"You," I replied honestly. Edward rolled his eyes. It was a very rare moment when Edward _wasn't_ on my mind. It seemed that every thought I had linked back to him in some way, even more proof that we belonged together, if we even needed more proof.

"Specifically," Edward pressed when I didn't continue, true curiosity on his face. Sometime while I had been thinking, Edward had slowed down to a walk, still keeping me cradled in his arms as we travelled at a human speed through the remainder of the trees.

"I was thinking about marriage," I told him broadly. Edward looked a little bit surprised. I guessed he still thought I believed marriage was only an obstacle in the way for getting the one last human experience I desperately had wanted, the one I still desperately want. It surprised me how casually the words like husband and wife rolled off my tongue. Once the idea would have made me cringe to even think of myself as somebody's _wife_, but now I couldn't imagine _not_ being married. All that wasted worry and anxiety I had about getting married so young completely disappeared. Of course, such a human word like husband would never be enough to describe what Edward means to me, but at least it showed more commitment than humanly teenage words like _boyfriend_ and _dating_.

"Was marrying me every bit as horrible as you imagined," Edward joked in a teasing tone. My face still scowled slightly, though I knew Edward couldn't truly believe that my problem was with marriage was more to do with him than my own insecurities. Cool fingers smoothed out the lines on my forehead. Edward had an eyebrow raised, waiting for me to continue. Patient as always, he didn't say anything while I gathered my thoughts.

"I never imagined marrying you would be horrible," I told him truthfully, though he didn't look completely convinced. After all, how many hours had I spent complaining about the wedding? "I think my...reluctance at first was more to do with Renée." I shook my head, still in disbelief at her miraculous acceptance that I was repeating one of her greatest mistakes and marrying so young. Of course, my worry about what people would think- what they would say- when I announced that Edward and I were getting married was a large part of why I favoured eloping over an elaborate wedding. These worries seemed silly now, ridiculous, even. I had almost forgotten what I had told Edward until he replied.

"Her response must have been a surprise for you," he agreed. It sounded like it wasn't as much of a surprise for him as it was for me. Renée's thoughts back in April must have given enough away to Edward that he wasn't as baffled by her response to our engagement as I was.

"It was," I answered him. "So is being married to me as important now as it was a few weeks ago?" I asked teasingly, remembering how vital this marriage seemed to Edward. Certainly, it was vital to me, but for a different reason. Marriage was my path to consummating that marriage, but Edward found a lot more significance in the idea that I had at first.

"Marrying you was one of the greatest moments of my life," Edward told me in a tone which implied he thought his statement was bluntly obvious. Then an angel's smile broke out on his face, teeth sparkling and his eyes alight. _This_, to see Edward happier than I had ever seen before was why marriage now seemed like one of the best things that could happen to us. Lost in my own thoughts, I failed to notice that we had shifted from the all but flat floor of the forest to the rocky surface of the western cove. I could see the ocean up ahead, made a shockingly bright blue by the sun. Edward set me on my feet a few yards from the shallow waters at the edge of the island.

"Look, Bella," Edward instructed, signalling towards the water about ten yards away. "Do you see?" I tried to make out what he was showing me. After a few seconds, I could see a dark shape popping above the water's surface as the shallow waves rolled into shore. Another few seconds passed, and I could see more of the same shapes gliding through the water.

"Why don't you go get closer?" Edward suggested, seeing my interest. Everything here was so surreal and bright. I removed the dress quickly, my body immediately turning self-conscious as I removed the one decent item I was wearing. Despite knowing Edward has seen me without clothes completely, I still felt nervous in front of him. After all, his perfect body made feel like a beauty-gone-wrong example. I couldn't be sure, but I thought I heard a sigh as my ridiculous swimwear came into view.

Without meeting Edward's eyes, I turned for the sea. Taking careful steps forward until I reached the edge of the water, I checked back to wonder why Edward wasn't with me. He still stood in the same spot as before, fully clothed. I resisted the urge to frown, looking at him curiously.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked. Surely he was worried I would trip, or drown without him by my side. Edward shook his head, and answered my obvious follow up question, though I hadn't spoken out loud.

"I'm sure you won't appreciate it too much if I scare the porpoises away," Edward explained. I remembered the way the fish in the coral reefs had froze and then disappeared when Edward was in the water. Still, he was a thousand times more desirable to swim with than any of the millions of creatures I could find in the water. Edward signalled for me to get a closer look at the porpoises, clearly wanting this to be another human experience for me.

I made my way carefully through the shallow waves, trying not to make too much noise or sudden movements as I waded through the water. The porpoises swum around me, indifferent to my presence. Obviously, I wasn't a threat to them. After a few minutes, I started to swim around, marvelling at the way the giant creatures would swim along with me. After a couple more minutes, I was panting for breath excitedly, unable to keep up with the creatures of the sea. Every few seconds I snuck a glace towards the shore, where Edward stood patiently, watching me with an amused expression.

As some point while swimming around I managed to trip over the perfectly flat sandy floor of the ocean. Although I was more than capable of pulling myself up to the surface, firm hands captured me around the waist, shooting me upwards. As I broke the surface, I noticed that the porpoises had either frozen, or disappeared. They reacted as if a shark had entered their waters. I guess to them, it had the same effect.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked as soon as I could breathe again, his hands still holding my waist and keeping me steady. If I wasn't so focused on the touch of Edward's skin on mine, I could have rolled my eyes.

"I'm fine. Two left feet, that's all," I laughed, trying to subtly edge myself closer to Edward. My attempt at subtlety failed, but Edward let me worm my way into his gentle embrace. I leaned my head again his chest, suddenly bare though I couldn't recall him removing his top at any point. Being my greedy, selfish self, I couldn't let the opportunity slide. Stretching up onto my toes, I pressed my lips forcefully to Edward's, locking my arms around his neck.

Edward loosened his arms around me, moving his fingers so the wrapped around my wrists, still on the back of his neck. He kissed me back, though it seemed more in a way to prevent my feelings getting hurt; Edward knew that it caused me pain every time he had to tell me 'no.' After a short minute, not even out of breath, Edward pulled away. As he did, my body became frustrated. I threw myself at his again, trying to resist his restraining arms. I tilted my chin up to glare at him, my lips slipping into a pout. My anger temporarily subsided as Edward brushed his fingers along my lips.

"Just a little while longer, Bella, you'll have to be a little bit patient" he tried to assure me, knowing exactly where the conversation was heading. It was like locking the alcoholic in a room full of the finest whiskey all over again, though this time, our roles were reversed. As if I could just ignore this feeling inside me close to addiction which craved Edward more than food or water or oxygen.

"I don't want to be patient," I said stubbornly, trying- and failing- to bring our lips back together. Edward fought a laugh at my expression.

"We have waited much longer than this before, Bella. Surely we can wait a few more weeks until you are not so breakable," Edward replied, his tone more serious now. _A few weeks_. I could only imagine what was going through Edward's head at the moment. I tried to bring my thoughts back to the current debate.

"Maybe _you_ can," I replied in a lower tone, but of course, he didn't miss a word. Edward laughed, though the sound was slightly tense.

"I know that for some ludicrous reason you think that it's easy for me to wait, but that's not actually the case," Edward said, locking his gaze with my own. I could see some truth in his words; it was obvious to me now that Edward _did_ want me in the way I wanted him. Except for me, that want was so strong that I wouldn't ever be able to stop myself if Edward decided to change his ruling on the matter. Edward clearly had the self-control to keep our bodies at a painfully '_safe'_ distance until I was changed.

"It seems easy enough," I murmured, my mood plummeting. It was frightening me how I could be so absolutely happy one second, and bordering on tears the next. Edward heard the sunken happiness in my tone, tilting my head upwards so he could read my expression more clearly.

"Do you honestly think it's _easy_ for me being unable to give you what you want?" Edward said, his voice fuelled with passion. "You have not even the slightest idea just how difficult it is to deny you what you want. You are far too desirable for your own good." Now would not be the best time to scoff or roll my eyes in disbelief at the second statement. Even without being able to read my thoughts, Edward read me like an open book.

"Do you think you will ever see yourself clearly? If only you would know just how irresistible you are, then maybe you could comprehend how difficult it is for me to say no." Edward took a step back, signalling to my scanty bikini. "Really, Bella, I don't know whether to thank Alice or kill her." Edward let out a rough laugh. My mind was still swimming with his words. It took longer than normal to gain coherency again. I was still toying with the idea that Edward had noticed my change in clothing pre and post marriage. Not only noticed, but it was arguably having the intended effect on him. I let my mind convince itself that Edward wasn't as oblivious as he seemed to my latest choices in fashion.

Like the flip of a switch, my body was hopeful again. It seemed like it would be much easier than I thought getting Edward to bend his carefully constructed boundaries. Obviously, it would be much, much harder when it came down to it, but now I had more of an idea of what direction to take. Pleading left me drowning in disappointment, begging left us both in pain. Edward refused to believe there was any reason to even have this discussion, so that was out.

There were a couple of things I was now certain about. First, it hurt Edward deeply to deny me what I wanted. I had already known this, but now it seemed obvious that the solution to this would be for Edward to give in. Knowing that Edward would be out of pain, I could convince myself that having a real honeymoon would be for the sake of his happiness, as well as my own. Then there was the second thing I was sure about; Edward _wanted_ to try again. Granted, he wished we would wait, but he seemed to want me almost as much as I wanted him, as impossible as it was for me to believe.

There was no way I could believe that Edward was as shallow and bestial as others who would drop any resolve they had at the sight of a little skin, but at least he had noticed enough that it was making it difficult-almost too hard- for him to stick with his ridiculous plan. With less noticeable bruises and a few choices from Alice's lingerie collection, Edward might see how pointless it was to wait. As false as the words sounded, even in my head, I knew I couldn't give up now. I _wouldn't_ give up.

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><p><strong><em>As I said before, we are reaching the point in the book where Edward gives in. The book covers 'Night Seven' and 'Day Eight' of the honeymoon, so I would still have about eight more days of the honeymoon I could cover if I choose to continue this fic all the way through the honeymoon. Like Stephenie Meyer, I would do 'fade's to black', but I would try and give you as much detail as I could before that happens. I myself prefer writing the more intimate scenes from a romantic light, as opposed to a more 'lemony' perspective I know others enjoy. Please help me out with some ideas for things Edward and Bella could do during both periods of their honeymoon. <em>**


	10. Night Five

**_I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so I hope you can enjoy reading it. It covers quite a few different issues, but I hope it makes enough sense to you. Please keep the reviews coming. They are my greatest inspiration. I would really love an idea of activities Bella and Edward could do in the next few days (Days Six and Seven). I would like them to have a bit more quiet time, maybe playing chess again, but I need things for Edward to convince Bella to do. It's becoming harder for him to resist, so I imagine he will be trying to keep Bella as entertained as possible. Sorry for the long messgae. Enjoy!_**

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><p>The old expression that <em>time flies when you're having fun<em> rang true in my head. At this point in time, it couldn't seem more accurate. Although we hadn't really left the house until midday, the afternoon seemed to pass in a few minutes. It seemed like only seconds ago that Edward had managed to lure me out of the house once again to explore the island. Then again, so much had passed in such a short space of time.

For one thing, I felt a lot more hopeful now. It wasn't like I expected Edward to go back on his self-inflicted promise so easily, but I felt that if I had any shot at changing Edward's mind, now would be as good a time as any. Although I was far from seductive, Edward's misguided use of the words _irresistible_ and _desirable_ to describe me left my heart in flutters. The words were far more suited to depict _his_ perfect-beyond-words physique, but the thought of Edward craving something from me that was more than my blood had my mind swimming.

"Aren't you hungry, Bella?" Edward asked, staring at the untouched sandwiches in my hands. In truth, I was ravenous. It had taken more energy than I had thought to swim around with the porpoises all afternoon (Edward had insisted on returning to the shore so he wouldn't frighten the poor creatures away). My legs were feeling odd, not sore, but more like all the bones had melted. It was even more difficult than usual to walk in a straight line as Edward had guided me over to one of the large rocks sticking out there.

"No, I am," I reassured him. Odd how we both had become so used to this new appetite of mine. A few weeks ago I could have gone all day without food and not even noticed. Now my stomach would snarl at me if I didn't feed it every few hours. "Just lost in thought, I guess," I explained my distraction. I could see the question on Edward's face, desperately wanting to know what was going on in my silent head. Still, he didn't ask, sensing I was too distracted at the moment.

Eventually, curiosity wore through. "What beautiful thoughts am I missing?" Edward asked softly, pulling me gently into the cradle of his arms. As soon as I had come out of the water, Edward had captured me in one of the giant towels from the house. Not that I had needed the added heat; the sun was still sweltering.

"I was just thinking about how perfect everything is here. I didn't even know such a place could exist. It's so amazingly beautiful," I said in an awed tone. Edward didn't seem to have the same assessment as I did, or maybe he just didn't approve of my choice of words.

"Nothing will ever be beautiful with you in comparison," Edward whispered forcefully in my ear, causing goosebumps to form on my arms. "But I see what you mean. Esme thought you would like the sun and the colours here, not to mention the privacy." When I came to think about it, I realised how little private time Edward and I had received before the wedding. We had plenty of time together, but there was always someone there, someone to worry about what they might hear or see, or walk in on. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders realising for the first time ever, Edward and I were absolutely positively _alone_.

"She was right," I eventually replied, wondering how long it had been lost in my own thoughts. "It was very generous of her to let us stay here." I was still going over the idea that Carlisle had given Esme an _island_ as a gift. Suddenly the cars Edward had given me sounded a lot better, knowing Edward would buy me a whole country if I asked for it.

"It was very kind of her, I agree. It solved a lot of issues that had come up when I was searching for a place we could stay. I'm glad you like it, though. I think it's probably the best place I can imagine for you to spend...the next few weeks." I noticed the hesitation in his voice. _For you to spend your last human days_, I corrected in my head. It left me a little worried that Edward still faltered at the idea of me becoming a vampire. There was not a doubt in my mind that Edward had _accepted_ that I would become one of his family members in every way, but he didn't seem to show the same casualness when it came to talking about my transformation itself.

"Bella, _please_ tell me what you are thinking about now. You're worried. I can see it on your face," Edward pleaded. Even though he was closed off to the world of my thoughts, Edward had a lot of practice reading my facial expressions. I considered lying, telling him I was thinking about getting sunburnt or something to keep the conversation away from more stressful topics, but it seemed like a discussion we would need to have sooner or later.

"I was thinking about my..." I said, looking for the right word. Edward nodded stiffly for me to continue, always assuming the worst. "Transformation," I finished, not meeting his eyes. When Edward spoke, his voice was innocent and casual, maybe too much so to be convincing.

"Specifically?" Edward pressed when I didn't continue. There were lots of things going through my head, lots of worries, lots of things to anticipate, things to look forward to, and things to fear.

"Like where it will take place, _when_ it will take place," I replied. I wasn't lying exactly, but those weren't the greatest concerns on my mind. There were other matters, too embarrassing to say out loud. Edward had agreed to change me himself, which was more than I could have asked for, but I still felt he didn't place the same weight on it as I did. For me, it was essential that Edward would bring me into this new life. My reasons were not the greatest, but it was the only way I could imagine being changed.

"Carlisle thought it would be best if you wake up where we can all protect you, though I'm sure I would be able to handle you myself," Edward answered the first question. Now the word _protect_ had a different meaning. I was long used to needing protection from others, but soon I would be needing protection from myself. I tried to ignore that thought as Edward continued. Though I liked the idea of it being just Edward with me, I knew it would be best, having the whole family there, just in case.

"As for the timing..." Edward said, his voice hardened slightly. "That's up to you to decide." I knew how highly Edward valued the last of my numbered human days. How long would it be before I take some of his favourite physical things about me away? Would he feel like he has lost something when my eyes are bright red...when my cheeks match the rest of my skin...when my heartbeat no longer exists? Edward was convinced he was the selfish one out of the two of us, but in reality _I_ was the heartless monster who kept hurting Edward day by day.

"There's something else worrying you," Edward said after a long pause of silence. His voice was less controlled now, full of curiosity and anxiety for what was bothering me. Like I said, he had a lot of practice reading my face. I made a mental note to try and control my expressions better, but knew I would forget to.

"Yes," I admitted. Edward nodded for me to carry on when I didn't answer his statement with any more detail. "I'm just a little worried about...you," I confessed. Edward's expression was overcome by shock and disbelief.

"Me?" He asked, surprised. "Why?" I tried to find the right words.

"I guess I'm a bit worried about how my change will affect _you_. I know you said that I would still mean the same thing to you afterwards, but without my blush, my eyes, my heartbeat...I don't want you to feel like you have lost anything. Like I have taken something away from you. No, that I have made _you_ take them away from me." Edward still looked as shocked as before, only now his arms wrapped around me, murmuring soothing words in my ear. Once again, _he_ was comforting _me._

"You won't be taking anything away from me, Bella, I won't lose anything," Edward tried to reassure me. "You're not making me do anything. I agreed to change you, and I will. I don't just want to change you because I know I have to fulfil my side of our bargain, or because I knew it was the only way you would marry me. I _want_ to be the one to change you, Bella." Now I was in shock.

"Really?" I said in a small voice, my eyes lighting up. Edward's expression became so soft and loving I would have believed him if he told me there was a swarm of flying chairs in the sky.

"Of course I do, Bella," Edward said as if I had completely missed the obvious. "I couldn't live with myself, knowing I let Carlisle change you."

"Why?" I asked in the same small voice. To him, it wouldn't matter whose venom coursed through my veins, the end result would still be the same.

"Why do you think?" Edward asked again, like the answer was obvious. I flushed slightly.

"I only know my reasons why I want you to change me," I admitted, thinking that Edward's reasoning couldn't possibly sound as silly as my own.

"Maybe they are the same," Edward suggested. "On other matters, our thoughts have been the same too." I knew he was referring to the list of his top ten nights. I wondered how that list had changed since coming on the island. He had said our first night together was the best night of his existence, better than when I had agreed to marry him, in fact. With any luck, I would be able to add some more nights onto his list before we left the island.

"This is going to sound silly," I warned him. "You'll laugh at me." Edward shook his head, pretending to lock his lips. I giggled before turning my expression serious again. "I want you to change me because...well I want it to be _your_ venom in my system. It will show me that you truly want me to be like you...more than that... there will be a connection between us. One that literally runs vein deep. It will make me belong to you in every way." I didn't look up to see Edward's expression. "I know it's silly." I murmured.

"It's not silly at all," Edward disagreed with a small laugh. I looked up at him curiously. "In fact, I'm kind of relieved. Of course, you should know that what I want more than anything is to be with you forever. Please don't think that my...reluctance changes that fact. But to hear that our thoughts are on the same pattern... that you _want_ it to be me so you feel like your _mine_..." Edward trailed off, seeming lost for words. I beamed at him, relieved at the turn this conversation had taken.

As Edward smiled back, the sunlight burst out from behind one of the large palm trees that he been temporarily shading us. Beams of bright orange, yellow and pink saturated the waters, reflecting off their surface and bouncing around the jungle. But I could hardly focus on any of that. All my eyes were drawn to was the heartbreaking effect the setting sun had on Edward's skin. Glowing like a million diamonds, the crystalline surface of his skin caused pink and orange light to illuminate all his features. It hurt just to look at his beauty. I couldn't imagine anyone looking more magnificent than him. Not even Rosalie, though she was the very definition of beauty.

Edward looked slightly uncomfortable with the way I stared at him. I wondered if he felt the same I felt when I caught him gazing at me. Still wrapped in the unnecessarily large towel, I cuddled my body into Edward's, scrambling onto his lap and wrapping my arms fiercely around his neck. Edward kept my body close, too, gently putting his arms around my waist and leaning to rest his head on my hair. Despite his exaggerated care, I felt captured blissfully within his arms.

I could say we were watching the sunset, but it really wasn't true for either of us. Even if I had enough willpower to try, I wouldn't have been able to remove my eyes from his face. The same seemed to be true for Edward. He gazed at me with that familiar, yet confusing expression which showed himself as the miraculous lotto winner, rather than the prize. He wasn't the only one of us who failed to see themselves clearly. For a rare moment, I wished Edward _could_ be able to see my thoughts, even just for a second. Maybe then he would be able to see just how much I loved him, how much I needed him, and, at this moment, how much I _wanted_ him.

Sitting in Edward's arms, leaning into his cool, enclosing embrace, it was easy to let my mind drift. This past week had left me with a lifetime worth of magnificent memories far beyond those possessed by other humans, possibly by other vampires. Without a doubt, every single memory I had gained was down to Edward. So many unbeatable memories, but one stood out above the rest. I hadn't known what to expect- neither of us had- but I never in my wildest dreams envisioned it had been so absolutely perfect.

Embedded in my memory forever, I ran over the details of our first proper night as husband and wife. All my fears and nervousness seemed so silly now. How could I have feared something so completely right? Despite the wide gap between our perfection, our bodies had fit together perfectly. Edward had been worried about my body getting cold being in such close proximity to his own, even with the sweltering heat of the island, but every touch had all but set my skin in fire.

I could remember every touch, nervous at first, but then developing into confidence as we got closer and closer to our goal. I could remember Edward holding me tightly, heat bursting through me as he had pulled me closer and closer to his body. Though I couldn't recall even a second when Edward's grip had been too firm. At that point, I couldn't get close enough to him. As if it were still happening, I could feel my heartbeat pounding, followed by the cool touch of Edward's hand as he placed it against the thudding in my chest.

Although my mind had been so absorbed in the way Edward's touch sent it into frenzy, I hadn't failed to notice each expression on his face. They started out so nervous, so anxious. I could only imagine how he felt. Neither of us had experienced this before. We had not a clue what to do. Edward _did_ have his extensive medical knowledge and ability to read minds to guide him in the right direction with the mechanics, but there had never been a union like ours before.

I could see his face calm as I pressed my palm against his cheek, trying to murmur words of encouragement. It was only to easy to remember the look on Edward's face as he brought our bodies closer and closer together, his eyebrows pulling together and his lip curling in an intense look of concentration. I had tried to remind myself not to make it any harder on Edward than it already was, seeing how it took every bit of his strength to stay in control.

But Edward had brushed his hands across my slick cheek, brushing my hair from where it stuck to my neck, soothing me. He wanted me to enjoy it. He surrendered every natural instinct he had to give me what I had wanted so desperately. Edward had done more than fulfil his side of the bargain. All I had asked for was for him to _try_. He could have stopped as soon as we had started, and I could have asked for nothing more. But Edward kept going, for me. It was the greatest gift anyone had ever given me.

Lost in my own thoughts, the sun's disappearance beyond the horizon had failed to capture my attention. In fact, a lot had escaped my attention. Opening my eyes- and forgetting I had ever closed them- I realised that we were no on the edge of the rocky western cove. I had the strange sensation of flying. Opening my eyes further, I could see the trees blurring around us. Edward held me in his arms, cradling me against to his chest as we flew into the house. Like our first night, the sun had bleached everything around us into shades of black and white. I twisted around a bit as consciousness returned to my body.

"I'm sorry," Edward said, his voice light and quiet, like a feather. "I didn't mean to wake you. Did you want to just sleep like this?" I was still wrapped in the fluffy white towel. Despite my almost overbearing tiredness, I managed to shake my head. No way was I able to let an opportunity slide. Edward placed me gently on the ground, doubtful as to whether I would be able to keep myself upright for very long. He unwillingly left me alone to get changed, kissing me tenderly on the forehead before heading off to the blue room to wait.

I stumbled over to the suitcase, making my way through the feathers. I idly wondered how long it would be until this mess would be cleaned up. Edward had mentioned something about the cleaning crew, but I hadn't been paying enough attention to when they were due. Something about this room had me blushing and reliving the memories of our first night. Maybe it would have the same effect on Edward as it would have on me, sleeping in here again. Of course, the memory would bring back another set of images for Edward. The bruises may be disappearing from my skin, but they will always remain in Edward's memory. He will see them as a constant reminder of what he is capable of.

Sighing, I focused on the task at hand. My tiredness had wiped away some of my insecurities and self-consciousness. It wouldn't be enough to send me close-to-naked in French lingerie to meet Edward, but it was enough for me to choose one of the scarier pieces from Alice's collection. I found myself removing the completely see-through deep blue nightgown from the suitcase without a second thought. I had little to no knowledge about which undergarments to pair with which nightgown, but Alice made it rather simple. Every scary, lacy piece of underwear looked about as bad as the last.

Dressing myself awkwardly, tiredness threatening to takeover, I pulled the thin garments into place. The lacy, most opaque underwear in the collection seemed to fit perfectly, which helped the fact they looked totally out of place on my body. The bra was alright. Sure, it was covered in dark blue lace matching the nightgown, but at least it covered everything. I couldn't say the same about the bottoms. Made of the same lace, they really only covered the minimum skin needed. Hanging low on the hips and covering none of my legs, the piece of fabric seemed about as small as one of the triangles on my bikini top. I didn't even want to think about the lace ruffled at the top of my thighs, resisting the urge to turn around in the mirror and assess the damage.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled the see-through nightgown on, squared my shoulders and walked purposefully in the room. After last night, Edward didn't turn at the sound of my approach; instead he kept his eyes low and waited for me to join him. Two could play at that game. I was tired enough to know that as soon as I hit the bed, I would be out like a light. There was nothing I could say that would help my case tonight, so any persuasion would have to be through my actions. Thankfully, I was too tired to feel embarrassment at that thought.

Not requiring too much effort on my part, I half collapsed/half threw myself onto the bed. Lying on back, I kept my eyes closed. As soon as I hit the sheet, Edward turned to look at me. My eyes closed, all I heard of his reaction was a sudden intake of breath. I fought the smile on my lips. Sure enough, I could feel the hem of my nightgown riding up onto my hips. The tiredness I felt was truly overwhelming now, threatening to pull me under. I had to strain my ears just to make out the faint words which escaped from Edward's lips.

"You'll be the death of me, Bella," Edward groaned, and I caught the slightly husky tone of his voice. I wasn't sure if Edward thought I was still awake or asleep. In fact, _I_ didn't know whether I was awake or not. Maybe my mind had become so deluded I had made it all up in my head. But this was a fantasy I was enjoying, so I continued without hesitation.

A cool tickle brushed along the top edge of my thigh where Edward had pulled my nightgown back to its original length. Not that it would make any difference. The see-through material would leave very little to the imagination. Edward didn't seem like the type who would fantasize about things the way I did, yet his breathing was faster than normal. Mine sped too, though I hoped he would write that off as some reaction during my sleep.

Sighing, I rolled over; my body facing away from him, hoping my face wouldn't give me away. Edward always controlled his reactions so well when I was awake. I hoped that when I was asleep, or at least he thought I was asleep, it would be a different story. Although I had intended my movement to be innocent, no more than shielding my face from his perceptive eyes, it had left a rather favourable situation, given my slight plan.

I could feel the fabric riding up again, reacting as I curled my body around. In any other circumstance, I would be filled with embarrassment, but I was becoming shockingly desperate for _something_ to work. My heart skipped a beat as I heard Edward's breath get caught in his throat. I could only imagine what he was seeing now, courtesy of the thin, black lacy garments I wouldn't have even thought of putting on a week ago.

Unable to smile slightly with satisfaction, my thoughts melted as he slowly pulled one of the sheets over my body. I had not a doubt in my mind that he knew I was warm enough without the sheet. Which meant there must have been another reason for his actions. I had never been able to believe that I was desirable to Edward, that I was irresistible, but I could believe that Edward's vampire nature had in no way diminished the way he saw things as a _man_. Right now, we were just a male and a female. It's normal for us to feel attracted to each other. It's normal for us to _act_ on that attraction.

Under the sheet, with Edward's cool arms out of my reach, my body quickly became coated in a layer of perspiration. Edward noticed this too. I felt his cool arms around my waist, rolling my body over so I was facing him again. After repositioning the sheet around my body, Edward pulled me into his arms, sighing deeply as I pressed my fevered cheek against his cool, exposed neck.

I could have screamed with glee when Edward pulled me away slightly then brought me back to his now-bare chest. I sensed he had two options; lose his shirt, or lose my sheet. At least if I had to be covered, he wasn't. I tried and probably failed to hide my grin and overwhelming satisfaction. It would only be a matter of time now...

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><p><strong><em>I tried to add in some more details from Bella and Edward's wedding night in this chapter, so I hope they came across okay. I have mentioned before that I will not be doing any 'lemons', but I do have a few ideas for 'before' and 'after' the newlyweds have sex the third time, which I may add onto this story. I just felt like we got all the details before and after Bella and Edward slept together the first two times, and wished that the book had contained what happened the third time, especially because that seemed to be the first time they were actually relaxed and really excited going into it. Please review and tell me what you think!<em>**


	11. Day Six

_**Sorry this took so long to update! I am still not too happy with the ending, but I wanted to get this up before I go on holiday. I will be quite busy for the next few weeks, but I promise any spare time I have will be dedicated to fanfiction. I would like to thank all of you for being such amazing reviews, especially 'spunkmehard' who is such a loyal, detailed reviewer to all my chapters and stories. This chapter is a bit long and probably repetitive, but I just kept finding new little things to add. Hopefully I can get the 'night' chapter up soon (those are my favourite ones!) so you don't have to wait too long. Thanks again and enjoy!**_

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><p>In my dream it was hot. Much too hot, burning, even. We were still on the island, the sun bright, the jungle thick and green. It was a dream that I had relived for the past few nights, stuffed in-between the nightmares which haunted me since arriving on this island. Tonight we were in the shades of the jungle, although the opening scene was still the same. Only such a dream could arise from my deepest desires, my heart showing what it truly wanted through my unconsciousness.<p>

It was Edward and I again, our kisses rough and fearless. It was like all my best memories of Edward's most passionate touches morphed into one scene. I could pick out the frantic, edgier way he had kissed me on the steps after graduation, the long kiss of pure elation we had shared in front of our families only a week ago as we married, and I could feel above everything else the way Edward had kissed me that first night together. Though cautious and very careful, Edward's kisses didn't stop at just that. It was the first time he had let physical relationship go past kissing and the occasional innocent touch. My mind clung onto these memories, desperate to keep them in the forefront of my mind until such time when they would be relived.

Then the scene abruptly changed. We were still in the thick jungle, Edward remaining as perfect as ever as he stared at me. It was _me_ who had changed. I could feel it inside me, like a thousand flames lighting up my throat. In my dream, Edward reached out to stroke my cheek lovingly, his fingers trailing all the way down my neck, then my ribs, finally coming to rest of my waist.

But I didn't feel anything, I couldn't feel anything. The burn in my throat was too strong. _Blood_, that was all I wanted. Edward's hand pulled me closer to him, pulling me tightly against his chest. I knew I should feel the desperate need for him in my chest, but my mind was elsewhere. I couldn't focus on him at all. _Blood_. Edward had leaned towards me, pressing his lips against my own. I waited for the spark of electricity which should flow through me at his touch. I waited for my breathing to speed and my body to pull him closer.

It never came. The thirst- _my_ thirst- had wiped away usual reaction to him. Edward pulled back from me, a light smile on his lips despite my rejection of his advances. As he pulled back, I saw my reflection in his honey-gold eyes. Through his eyes, I could see myself, or what I would be in a few weeks. My eyes were bright and fierce, full of desire. Desire for blood. My vision had become tinged with red, a red as bright as my eyes. The picture disappeared just as suddenly as it had arrived.

I awoke with a startle. The red tinge did not disappear from my closed eyes, my body still sweltering. That's the last time I have such an intense conversation right before bed. As if I needed another reminder of how vital it is for me to make the most of my unbeatable need for Edward while I'm still human. The image of me, a thirsty, single-minded newborn flashed back into my head. Yes, I was right to push Edward on this.

Eventually, I opened my eyes, instinctually searching for him. It was a bad sign that he didn't have his arms around me. Or maybe it was a good sign. I refused to think of myself as a seductress, but at least I was having some form of effect on him. Edward lay on the other side of the bed, his arms behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. His chest was still bare, though the heat told me our bodies had been apart for a while.

"Good morning," Edward said, turning his head towards me, staring at only my eyes. I had to remind myself to breathe. His beauty was truly breathtaking, enhanced by the bright sun streaming through the French doors.

"Morning," I managed to reply a bit too late, my voice thick with sleep. I glanced over to the small clock on the dresser. _9:14am_. I must have slept a good eleven hours. So why was I still tired? Maybe it was just the nightmares again, messing with my sleep. It wouldn't be the first time they had done so. I rolled onto my side so I was facing closer, trying to be subtle about moving closer to him.

I stared at his cool, calm expression. It was one I had come to recognise a lot, occurring when Edward didn't want me knowing something, or was trying to hide some emotion from me. I could only wish that what he was trying to hide from me had something to do with the inappropriate nightwear I was wearing, though I didn't have very high hopes. Now that most of my tiredness was dealt with, I could afford a little more embarrassment. Before Edward could ask what I was thinking, I spoke again.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, trying to look for anything which would give away _his_ thoughts. A perfect poker face, Edward betrayed no more emotion than surprise at my comment.

"Me?" Edward asked, still shocked, his eyes wide. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I was just wondering why you weren't keeping me cool this morning," I replied, carefully watching his response. The poker face was back again, seeing that I would be processing his every word. He exuded casualness, much too casual, if you ask me. Edward shrugged, turning his eyes away from me to reply. I could sense he was a bit uneasy answering my comment. I didn't know how I felt about that. I could only hope it was getting harder for him to be around me this way. I had to be releasing some pretty strong hormones by now. Would they affect him as they would humans?

"You seemed fine without me," Edward said slowly, choosing his words carefully. The disbelief at his statement must have been as obvious on my face as it was on my mind as Edward quickly acted to change the conversation. "You're hungry. Why don't we go find you something to eat?" My stomach hadn't made any noise- that I had heard at least- but I _was_ pretty hungry. Edward read the confirmation in my expression and was off the bed in one swift movement.

Breathing a sigh, I climbed off the end of the bed after him. Edward had his hand extended for me, probably expecting my lack of balance to be worse in the morning. He wasn't wrong. Whether it was from all the hiking, or all the sleeping, my legs reacted oddly here, barely able to keep my body walking in a straight line, something which was hard enough for me before. I had to do some kicking to get out of the sheet Edward had wrapped me in.

With the morning came a whole wave of embarrassment. I hadn't truly realised how shocking it was last night, too blocked out by tiredness, or the dark, or maybe just desperation. I was truly willing to try anything. I tried to avoid looking at the dangerous fabric as Edward helped me to my feet, him taking extra care not to touch the skin which wasn't on my hands. I could feel the translucent gown hanging low on my chest, and high up my thigh, if it even reached that low to begin with.

This could go one of two ways. Either I stumble around in embarrassment, amusing Edward further and decreasing the already slim chance that this torturous garment would have the desired effect on Edward. Or I could put on a brave face and try to preserve the little amount of confidence I had left. The second option seemed far more productive. Edward led me towards the door, keeping his hand in mine, but his eyes carefully diverted from my outfit. I smiled slightly in satisfaction, telling the annoying voice- the one that suggested Edward's behaviour was no more than politeness- to shut up.

"Hmm," Edward said, though his voice had the quality of a growl, low and rough, if his smooth, velvet voice could ever be rough. Stopping before we reached the door, Edward picked up a pile of white fabric from the floor. His shirt, I realised. I looked at him curiously as he held the fabric out for me. When I didn't respond, Edward pulled by arms through the sleeves, buttoning the shirt up quickly. I kept the curious expression on my face, an eyebrow raised in question.

"I wouldn't want you getting cold," Edward said in a teasing voice. Surely he couldn't think it was actually cold for me here? Had he not seen the drop of sweat which travelled down the back of my neck?

"Right," I muttered. I wondered if the sarcasm in my head had come through in my voice. Edward just responded like I had said nothing, so I assumed not. I let my mind drift off to more pleasant places as I waited for Edward to bring me breakfast, like every other morning. I could smell the distinct aroma of herbs this morning, organic and fresh. My stomach growled, and I tried to ignore it, but it continued to snarl until Edward placed a full plate of eggs and toast in front of me.

"Thanks," I managed to mutter between mouthfuls, the hot eggs burning my throat. Edward looked concerned as I ate, much faster than usual.

"Are you sure I'm feeding you enough?" Edward asked doubtfully as I moved onto my third piece of toast. I too was curious about my change in appetite. Being here was doing strange things to my body. It was probably down to the fact that I wasn't use to so much exercise. Back home, Edward took any excuse he could to have me in his arms. It had gotten to the point where I didn't even walk down the staircase anymore. Not that I could complain. The choice between being in Edward's arms and more likely than not tripping down the staircase was an easy one.

"I think it's just all the exercise I have been doing. Maybe all the hiking and swimming around has caught up to me," I said, finally full. My stomach felt completely stuffed, and I drooped over the table like I would most nights.

"Would you like to do something...less physical today?" Edward offered reluctantly. I could see disappointment clear on his face. I idly wondered what highly-demanding activity he had planned for the day. Obviously it would be something physical, something which would wear me out so I couldn't press my case before collapsing in bed. Probably something which would keep our bodies separated, like swimming with the dolphins. Being a vampire gave Edward the perfect excuse for keeping well away from the wildlife as he encouraged me to go exploring on my own.

"That's a great idea," I agreed with his offer before he could withdraw it and lure me out of the house with further mention of the coral reefs or the tropical fish. Edward didn't look too excited by my enthusiasm. "We could sit on the couch and watch a DVD," I suggested hopefully.

"We should at least go outside," Edward argued quickly. "We don't want to waste this time inside. You only get one chance to be human, Bella." There was no point telling him it wouldn't be a waste. Edward read the disappointment and possibly hurt on my face, his expression turning soft.

"Or we could just sit down and play chess again," Edward suggested, trying to placate me. "We could go sit on the balcony." His compromise was working. Sure, we wouldn't be in the house, but at least we would be close for when it becomes necessary. If it even became necessary. Edward took the compliance in my face as agreement, quickly cleaning after breakfast before returning to help me up from the table.

"Did you want to go get changed? I'll set up outside," Edward said, to which I nodded weakly. As I wandered off to the bathroom, trying not to bang into any of the expensive looking artefacts there, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Ugh. I looked terrible. My hair hung limply, tousled by the excess swimming. My eyes had slightly dark circles around them. Even worse, the skimpy nightwear clung to my skin, stuck tightly to my body due to my skins reaction to the heat and humidity.

In the end I gave up and jumped into the shower. It wasn't like me to forget my human necessities (normally they got in the way, more than anything else), but this island had me feeling so different. It took extra effort to remember the simple things like washing my hair. In some ways, Edward's distractions _were_ working. I ran the silky smooth shampoo and conditioner through my hair, marvelling at how the expensive products left my hair completely knot free.

Also, it didn't hurt to shave my legs. One could only hope that being ready would make an event that much more likely to occur. After all that I had been through in the last few years, however, I couldn't see much truth in that statement. It was hard to find the balance between taking my time to become entirely presentable, and resisting the urge to sprint down the hallway to where I knew Edward would be waiting for me.

A few minutes and a handful of expensive body wash later, I padded my way over to the suitcase, wrapped in another overly large towel. Finding suitable clothing became harder and harder by the day. I found that my supply of decent clothing had diminished greatly over the past week- not that there was very much of it anyway. Edward had unconsciously adopted Alice's policy of only wearing clothing once, so my remaining options were slim.

I briefly wondered how long Alice had seen us staying here. Maybe, since we were both undecided about exactly how much time I would have left as a human, she wouldn't be able to get a firm grasp on our future. Nevertheless, she has packed enough clothing to last a good month. Since most of the items were skimpy, thin bits of material, I had initially failed to notice exactly how many new outfits she has purchased for me.

With great embarrassment, I noted that the lingerie collection and skimpy nightgowns took up a good majority of the suitcase. I wondered whether Alice had anticipated that I would actually have ended up wearing some of these items to bed, or if their presence in my immediate wardrobe was just her way of trying to improve my fashion sense. The latter caused me much less humiliation. I thought of a vision Alice may have seen which would encourage her to buy such lingerie for me, and shuddered. As much as I loved my sister- I smiled in satisfaction at how official our relationship was now- I would die of embarrassment if I knew she had seen what had happened on our honeymoon, or what may happen still.

Knowing Edward was waiting outside for me, I tried to hurry and find something to wear. It wasn't like Edward didn't have the patience; it was more like I couldn't stand to be away from him for this long. After spending the past week, completely alone with no interruptions, it was so much harder to be separated from him, even just for a few seconds. I dressed quickly, keeping it simple. Now that I realised I was making more progress at night than during the day, I could afford to go back to my usual style. For the daylight hours, at least.

Keeping it simple, I threw on a pair of the tiny shorts Alice had packed and one of the tight fitting tank tops. To be honest, it was the most modest thing in the whole collection of clothing. The mirror showed me that the bruises were much better now. They were all but invisible on my thighs, hips and ribs. Now a distinctly faded yellow colour, the worst bruises- the ones on my arms and shoulders- didn't look nearly as bad as they had a few days ago. I could only just make out their faint lines on my skin. Other than that, I felt completely normal. I couldn't even remember they were there most of the time, and when I did, it was never pain which brought them to the front of my mind.

Running a bit too fast and almost crashing into the wall on the way, I eagerly went to go meet Edward outside. He wasn't hard to find. The sun, unhindered by clouds here as it was in Forks, lit up the whole porch, bouncing off the sand coloured wood and sparkling in the ocean only a few feet away from the edge of the balcony. It was like our own personal paradise. I was barely able to notice the surroundings, though, spotting Edward, sparkling like a thousand diamonds where he sat on the edge of an outdoor couch.

Dazed, I walked over to sit opposite him, my eyes never leaving his perfect face. He looked a bit uncomfortable, maybe even ashamed. To me, the sparkle in him skin was the very definition of beauty. I couldn't imagine anything more magnificently perfect. He was obviously more than human. Of course, that's exactly why Edward _didn't_ like the effect of his skin in the sunlight. Because he was more than human, or less than human, Edward probably believed. No mortal could ever posses such blinding magnificence.

"Bella?" Edward asked, pulling me from my own thoughts. I blushed as he realised the way I had been staring at him, my mouth hanging open like an idiot. I recognised his expression; he was waiting for an answer. I couldn't even remember him asking a question. Edward chuckled slightly as he noticed my distraction.

"Yeah?" I asked confused.

"Did you want to start playing now?" Edward asked, fighting a smile. He knew of the utterly unfair effect he had on me. Too absorbed by Edward's distraction, I hadn't noticed the chess board set up between our bodies. Again, the white pieces were on my side. I sighed; Edward was almost too perfect to bear. I wondered what it must be like for him- as I often wondered- not being able to hear my thoughts.

I was reminded of one of the nights I had spent at the Cullen's house what seemed like an eternity ago. I had been crushed by Jasper playing chess. Even without his years of practice and ability to manipulate my mood, I was sure he would have won. The memory of Alice and Edward playing chess was still comical to me, only a few pieces moving as they played the rest of the game entirely in their head. I could recall Emmett's comment to me, wanting to see how Edward would play against me, without his usual advantage. There was not a doubt in my mind that Edward would always beat me at chess. Even if, by some miracle, I gained enough experience to hold my own, I couldn't see myself winning. At least, not without Edward forfeiting the game, something I knew he would do if I really wanted to win. It made me feel like a selfish, spoilt little monster, but I liked the fact that Edward would give me anything I wanted. _Well, almost anything_, I amended silently, my eyes automatically zooming in on one of the yellowed splotches on my forearm.

"Um," I managed to stutter as Edward tried to bring my attention back to earth. Carelessly, I moved forward one of my pawns. Edward smiled to himself as he returned with his own move. He seemed to be enjoying the game. I felt a little bit sad as I realised I was probably the only person Edward could play against without cheating. Not that it did me any good, having a muted mind. Edward had wiped off most of my pieces within minutes. I had only managed to remove one of his pawns before he jumped through a gap I had failed to notice and took my queen. It wasn't long after that he called checkmate with most of his pieces still in play. Only one pawn of mine remained on the board.

With a surge of sadness, I noticed how the small chess pieces were a good metaphor for Edward and me. I was the pawn, naturally, the weakest piece on the board. No matter how hard I tried, I didn't have the physical strength to keep Edward near me. Although he assured me that my hold on him was unbreakable, it wouldn't hurt if I actually _could_ have an unbreakable hold on him physically.

It was comforting to know that soon, I would no longer be just a pawn. I could be a queen. I had to believe that as a vampire, after the first few bloodthirsty years, I could be one of the strongest, most powerful pieces on the board. My strength would finally match Edward's. He wouldn't have to worry about being careful with his every move around me, and I wouldn't have to feel the surge of rejection every time it becomes necessary for him to pull away. Everywhere Edward goes, I would be able to follow.

Still twisted up in my own little metaphor, I wondered what that would make Edward. Not a bishop or a rook or a pawn. Definitely not _that_. Nor did a knight fit. There was no option left other than the king. Suddenly, that made perfect sense. The most important player on the board, the most important person in my world. You could destroy the king, and nothing else on the board would count. Without Edward, there would be no point to life. The queen and king are together, fighting as one. The king wouldn't advance forward without knowing the queen would be there to fight with him, protect him.

I chewed over that thought for a second. When the word protection came to mind, I thought of Edward protecting me. On so many occasions Edward had thrown himself in front of me, preparing to fight for me. Against the wall in Volterra, then only a few months later with Victoria, his protective stance was one I knew well. I had never thought of being able to protect Edward myself. I guess, weak and human as I am, I wouldn't be able to protect him physically. That was one of the reasons I hadn't been able to let Edward go to the battle with the newborns, sitting along and knowing there was nothing I could do to keep him safe. Maybe, as a vampire, I would be able to sacrifice myself the way he had done for me on countless occasions. Instead of him shielding me from danger, _I_ would be shielding _him_.

Of course, once I was immortal, we shouldn't be in a situation which required us to fight to save whoever's life was threatened at the time. Our one problem, the Volturi, would have no reason to harm me as an immortal. I knew at some point after my transformation, I would have to show them that I have become a vampire. I couldn't have them coming to Forks to check. My stomach twisted as I realised that as a newborn, _I_ would not be able to return to Forks. I would have to go live with the penguins in Antarctica, far away from civilization.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked, worried, seeing the same expression on my face. I considered lying, but knew he would see right through me.

"I am just a little worried still. About the first few years, I mean," I replied slowly, watching his expression. His face hardened slightly. The last time I had said those words was just before I had tried to seduce him on the first occasion. I shouldn't have been surprised he would make the connection.

"We'll have to go live somewhere in isolation. And it will be _my_ fault that you have to move," I explained my worries. Edward replied in a soothing voice, leaning across the chess board to take my hand.

"Nobody will mind, Bella. We have all moved for another before. Nobody will blame you in the least. We don't want you to be in the path of temptation. We all want to keep you out of trouble. Nobody wants you to...slip up." I was reminded of Jasper and Emmett's bet. As if he _could_ read my thoughts, Edward was quick to explain.

"Just because Jasper would feel better if you had a hard time with this doesn't mean he wants you to, Bella. He has just seen far too many newborns, but his knowledge of them is limited to wars of the south. _You_ will have a whole family of people trying to protect you, keeping you out of harm's way. Trust me, Bella, we'll keep you safe. I'll keep you safe." It was impossible to ignore the absolute promise in his voice.

"I know," I said, sighing. It was really heating up outside now, the humidity having a very human effect on my skin. "How much longer do you think we will stay here?" I asked Edward, mopping my hand across my forehead.

"As long as you like. We don't have return flights yet, so there is no hurry. Unless you wanted to go home?" Edward said the last part almost regretfully, as if he wanted to stay on the island almost as much as I did. It was like disappearing into our own world. One where danger would not follow us, where we could truly be alone. And then there was the environment, so bright and colourful. I knew that I wouldn't see the sun much as a vampire.

"No, no," I said quickly. "I love it here. It's so bright and warm and colourful. We'll be fine for a few more weeks, right?" I asked hopefully. Edward beamed and nodded. I couldn't think of a better place to spend my last few weeks as a human. Hopefully someday we would be able to return. I already could feel an attachment to the island, largely to do with our first night here. As my cheeks flushed, my stomach rumbled. I hoped Edward would write that off as my embarrassment towards my human reactions rather than my silent thoughts.

"Time for the human to eat?" Edward asked teasingly while I scowled at him. It felt like minutes ago when I had last eaten, and even then, I had been sitting down all morning.

"Please," I replied, ignoring his _human_ comment. In a few weeks, he wouldn't be able to use them anymore. Sure, I wouldn't miss my human faults, like eating, needing to use the bathroom, sleeping, then the blush and speeding heartbeat, but Edward probably would. At least he has the unforgettable memory characteristic of all vampires. I could convince myself I wouldn't be taking _too_ much away from him with my change.

"I'll go get you some food from the fridge and you can eat it out here," Edward suggested, disappearing into the kitchen. He was back only a few seconds later with a large bowl of fruit, already cut into edible bites for me. I wouldn't it past Edward to think I was enough danger to myself that I would slice my hand off by mistake cutting the fruit. It almost made me laugh.

"Thank you," I said gratefully, scoffing down the food quickly. Like the rest of the island, the fruit was colourful and exotic.

"It's a relief to see that you're eating something other than eggs for once. I was worried your diet was becoming rather limited," Edward joked, waiting patiently while I ate. I wondered how many eggs I must have gone through since being here. At least three cartons, I reckoned. I was eating at least three eggs for breakfast, lunch and dinner most days. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy eating other food- Edward's cooking was unfairly amazing- my body just craved them. It was odd.

When I was finally full and feeling like my body couldn't possibly take anymore food, I drooped forward, wrapping my arms around my legs. Edward looked a little concerned, his eyebrows pressing together as he took in my hunched, bloated state.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked, curious and doubtful. Edward eyed the plate- now empty- between our bodies.

"Yep," I replied honestly. I felt as little full, but nothing to be concerned about. "I'm as normal as always." Edward rolled his eyes, and I was sure we were both thinking the same thing. I had never really fit into the category of '_normal'_ before. I tore my body off the seat to go stand beside Edward, wrapping my arms tightly around my neck. Edward tensed for the slightest second, and then relaxed into my embrace. I felt his arms around my waist, pulling me down onto his lap. I complied eagerly.

I managed to twist myself round so I could stretch and reach his lips, trying to hold his head to mine as my fingers knotted uselessly in his hair. Edward responded how he usually would, pulling me closer to his body and letting me attack his lips. Feeling encouraged, I let my lips part, groaning in satisfaction when Edward did the same. I should have been embarrassed at the sound, but it seemed I couldn't care less. My brain scattered as his cool breath blew against my lips. Slightly unsteady, my hands subconsciously made their way to his shirt, intent on removing the garment.

As if something had snapped in place in his head, Edward's lips froze on mine, his hands forming constraining vices around my wrists. Edward removed his lips from mine quickly, ignoring me when I tried to fight against his vice-like grip.

"_Please_ be good, Bella," Edward whispered in my ear, his voice smooth and pleading. Satisfied that I had stopped fighting against his hold in me, Edward transferred both my hands into one of his, using the other to brush his fingers along my cheek, leaning my head against his shoulder. I sighed, the sound coming out as disappointed and longing.

"You know I don't want to pull away, Bella, but I can't keep going if you won't realise it's not going to go any further," Edward said, his lips still at my ears. His voice was soothing, almost comforting. Edward was firm in his conviction. He couldn't see that things may change, that he may give in. It was sheer stubbornness, from my point of view. Did he think I was lying to him about the bruises? He of all people knew how much of an unconvincing liar I was.

"Fine," I mumbled, my head dipped in what could only be disappointment and embarrassment. The kind of choked-up tone of my voice surprised me, as did the wet moisture forming around my eyes. I brushed away the building tears before Edward could notice, trying to make it look like I was wiping my forehead. I didn't risk saying anything else, afraid my voice would come out wrong. How much rejection could one person take?

I knew it was completely irrational to feel this way. I knew that Edward's unwillingness to sleep with me again was only because he didn't want to risk my safety. It didn't matter that Edward had assured me that he _does_ want me, or that as soon as I am less breakable, we can have as many real honeymoons as I want. All my heart was able to feel was a crushing rejection. But what hurt the most was that I had been here before, in this similar position.

This was not much different from when I first tried to convince Edward to sleep with me. Well technically not _sleep_ with me, but the idea was still clear. There was the same avoiding his eyes, the irrational feeling of rejection, the unstable voice and tears building up in my eyes. But then, everything was different. Because before, I had been able to convince Edward. I had been able to form a compromise, as twisted as it was, which enabled us to get to this moment. Now, it seemed like nothing was helping us move forward. No compromise was able to be made. Edward saw nothing was worth risking my safety again. Not that it was risked the first time.

I had already filled my side of the bargain. There was nothing left I could give Edward, nothing else he seemed to want from me. At the time when we made the compromise, I had been secretly glad that there wasn't much Edward seemed to want from me. It made compromising easier, knowing he was happy with just marriage, that matrimony was all Edward wanted. Even though I had let him buy me two ridiculous fast cars and pay for Dartmouth, I was sure he would have agreed to the deal if all I gave him was to be his wife.

In hindsight, I should have been smarter. I should have come up with some deal that we would be able to have a completely real honeymoon if all went well the first night. But I wasn't smart like that, and to be honest, I am sure it wouldn't have worked. I thought of all the times where Edward had tried to convince me that it would be a bad idea consummating our marriage while I was still human, all the times he had beaten himself up for agreeing to such a thing. But he had never backed out, knowing that for him to _try_ was all I had asked for, all I wanted. And at the time, it truly was.

I guess I just hadn't factored how addictive it could be, and after only one time. The general rules of addiction seem to come from an action repeated until it becomes virtually impossible to stop. But Edward and I had been together for only one night. Is it natural to feel this way? Do others want another so badly, so desperately after just one night? I have to keep reminding myself that the normal rules and procedures do not apply here, because there has been no other union like ours before, as far as we knew.

"Bella," Edward's soft voice whispers, pulling me away from my thoughts. I look up at the sound of my name, but look down just as quickly. I wasn't fast enough for Edward to avoid seeing the redness around my eyes. Edward placed a finger under my chin, but he didn't try to lift my face. Instead he waited. I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes, forcing a smile. My rush of emotion would probably scare Edward. He would worry that I am hurt, which will make things even worse than they already are.

"What are we doing this afternoon?" I asked Edward, trying to sound cheerful. He didn't look convinced, but sensing that this was what I wanted, Edward played along. With another shock, I realised it was me ruining our honeymoon more than anything else, being all emotion. I should just be able to enjoy it, enjoy the colours and the beach and the sea. It wouldn't be too hard to be distracted by the beauty here. A distraction, that was what I needed, until bedtime anyway.

"I had been thinking we could see the submerged caves this afternoon, if you feel up to it?" Edward suggested, phrasing it like I question. I never thought the day would come where I would willingly tell Edward I would like to hike all over the island instead of hanging around home.

"Sure. Submerged caves. Sounds exciting!" I told him with real anticipation. It wasn't like I didn't enjoy seeing all the sights around the island, I just had another idea of something I would enjoy more. But for now, exploring would be fine. If anything, it would make Edward happy. That mood would be sure to go away once he sees my embarrassing attempts at trying to make a deal later, but it has to help.

I smiled rather deviously to myself as I wound my fingers with Edward's. Two could play at this scheming game. Edward would be happy, watching me experience my last few moments as a human on the island, and eventually, he _will_ be happy when we continue our honeymoon the way it's meant to be. I know that once Edward gives in, he won't have to hurt himself anymore saying no, and deep down, somewhere buried beneath the layers of doubt and self-hatred, Edward knows it to. I would just have to find a way to bring those feelings to the surface. Smiling again, I let Edward guide me towards the house.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Sorry, I just had to slip the Breaking Dawn cover metaphor in there. To me, it did seem like something Bella would come up with. She frequently uses metaphors to describe her and Edward's relationship (like the magnet metaphor in Eclipse), so it seemed fitting to weave the chess pieces in there. I hope it came across without being too tacky. <strong>_


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